Vampiric Eye Update

by | Apr 13, 2011 | Illness

Well its that time again when I have to pop into the local hospital for a check-up on my Vampiric eye syndrome. Only today’s appointment was not at my usual first thing in the morning time, but at the unhelpful time of 11am. Now this is both a bonus (I can work from home for a while before having to go for appointment, which means less time spent in the office) and a hindrance (If you’re not there early enough in the day, then parking is next to impossible.).

I arrive at the hospital in plenty of time and try and park in the car-park near the eye outpatients, No Room, So I try the several staff car parks close to that end of the hospital (I may, or may not have acquired a staff parking permit for my car) No Room. OK, so there is a car-park half way along the hospital complex, No Room. The staff car-park near the middle of the complex? No Room. The huge main car-park at the other end of the hospital to where I need to be? No Room. The overflow massive car-park that’s been built on the far end of the main car-park? No Room.  At this point I would have happily parked on a manger in a stable!. Right there is a bit of wasteland at the end of the overflow car-park where people park if there is no where else left? No Room!! At this point I remember I’m driving a 4×4 and park it “off road”

Its Raining, and I have approximately a 3/4 mile walk through the various car-parks to get to the hospital, and then a 1/2 mile walk to get to the opposite side of the hospital where my appointment is in  18 minutes! Did I mention its raining?

So I get into the eye outpatients slightly bedraggled from the rain, and out of breath from the speed walking. I report to the receptionist who disappointedly is not the cute friendly one who always remembers my name, but some other one. I explain I have an appointment, confirm my address to prove who I am and get asked :-

Receptionist: “Have you moved house since you were last here?“

GN: “err no! I just confirmed my address to you?“

Receptionist: “Have you changed surgery or doctors since you were last here?“

GN: “err no! I would have informed you, I just want my appointment! please can I sit down“

Receptionist: “Its sometimes like you live here isnt it?“

GN: “err yes” *smiles disarmingly as I back slowly away without making any sudden movements to a seat*

The waiting game begins, So I start writing a blog post about an update to my Vampiric eye syndrome, not this blog post, oh no. I wrote a post of several hundred words, using the wordpress iPhone App, and saved it to “local drafts” only for it to vanish into the void. I then get called for an eye test before moving to another waiting area to wait to see the actual doctor.

I should point out stupidity of the eye test station. You go in and read the letters off the board for them to measure your eye sight level. Only you are there due to some eye problem, Myself I’m on eye drops that tend to dilute eye and make everything fuzzy, so have yet to go into eye test room when I could see the board with the drop affected eye. I also have them confused as there are two identical test rooms, with identical eye charts, Yet if I am in the right hand room I can see several lines further down the chart than I can in the left hand room.

So I make it to the final waiting room, and boy does this room live up to its name, and then some! I was here for over an hour. It’s not their fault really, the eye outpatient department is the busiest department in the hospital (Well maybe apart from A&E on a Saturday night) So the place is always packed to capacity. Then you have the fact they have a special infectious eye clinic on the second Wednesday of the month (to add even more people to the overcrowdedness) And to top it all off today, they were a Doctor down, and then a second Doctor was called out to an emergency, meaning the remaining Doctors had to see their patients as well as the missing Doctors patients.  So this meant I had an hours wait, and there was no WiFi available for me to use, and no phone signal.

So, to recap, I had a stupidly long walk through the rain to get here, I’ve been waiting bored out my head for about an hour and a half in total. And how long am I in with the Doc for? FIVE MINUTES! Long enough to say Hi, her to check my eye, declare its looking good, and lower my drops, and say she will see me in two months.

I hate Hospitals!!!!!!!

Death Threats & Dinner Suits

by | Apr 11, 2011 | Freemasonary, Friends & Family

Saturday evening I was at the  Llannerch & Gredington’s Joint “Ladies Evening” in Llangollen. The evening was a formal event so the dress code was Dinner suits, dress shirts, bow-ties, the works.  The majority of the evening was very enjoyable, with good company, great food, beer, etc. and Several hundred pounds were raised for charity just from raffle tickets alone.

In fact the evening was enjoyable right up to the toasts, of which there were two. Firstly the Master of Llannerch got up to give a quick toast of  “the queen“. The other toast of the evening was “the ladies” and was to be a longer toast more like a speech. And which poor victim was designated with this responsibility? Yes you guessed it, My good self!. Now I should take a second here to point out this was the first “Ladies Night” I had been to, and as such had never seen or heard a ladies toast before, so had no bearing to work from.

I should also point out I am a shy person, So standing up in front of over a hundred people who regularly attend such functions to perform the toast was terrifying. So I start into my spiel, and it seems to be going ok, the ladies present seem to be cheering, and agreeing with what I’m saying and “tutting” at their escorts, while the Men seem to be more growling at me, and denying things. Well I finished my bit and got to sit back down again.

Later on that evening while standing about with a couple of other men I received death threats, and quotes like :-

“How could you stand there and say those things!!! Don’t you realise what you’ve done???” “My wife wants breakfast in bed tomorrow now” “I have to get flowers after” “How you say that? what you doing??” “Don’t worry we’ll get him later“

I did point out to them that I am currently Single, and if they go and pick on a single bloke to make the ladies toast, then they have to expect to live with whatever damage he decides to cause. 🙂

 

Secret Government Base?

by | Apr 6, 2011 | Misc, Vehicles, Zombies

This morning on my way to the Insane Asylum I had to stop off at a small garage (Gas Station) to fill up my vehicle with diesel. Nothing special about that, It happens at least once a week, or more commonly twice a week due to my superstition about filling up my tank in one go (Which I may explain at some point in the future). Now the reason I’m blogging about a common, normal everyday activity is  the following.

I pulled into the strangely busy Garage forecourt, which normally has one or maybe two cars parked to either fill-up or use the shop. I once saw it on a particularly busy day with four cars there. This morning, including my car there was one vehicle at every pump (So eight in total) with a further nine parked at different parts of the small forecourt. Seventeen Cars, SEVENTEEN!

Now as I filled up, I was the only person in sight. All the cars were empty, and no one was walking about. When I walked into the Garage itself (which I should point out is a small room, with a counter, and a small office/toilet at the back which you could fit maybe three people in if they were “very familiar”) One man walked out. There was also one person behind the counter serving, So with myself three people to account for seventeen cars? SEVENTEEN? where were the other fourteen people? there was no way they could all be in the back room. In fact the only way they could be in the building at all would be if there was some sort of secret government facility underneath the garage.

Well I guess, Zombie outbreak?, Mass murderess who kidnap customers and throw them into an empty underground fuel store “It puts the lotion on its skin, else it gets the hose again!“?, Alien abduction? are also possibilities, but I tell you this now, I for one will not be using that particular garage again unarmed.

International Pillow Fight Day

by | Apr 2, 2011 | Holiday

Greetings & Salutations Dear Readers.

We here at the ninja temple with you a very happy “International Pillow Fight Day”

No seriously this is a real day. People all around the world will be heading to massive pillow fights held in city’s all over the place. You still don’t believe us? then go have a look here and see if there’s a city near you having a fight you could take your pillow along to.

And keep an eye out you may see one of us there joining in the fun.

The Ninjas are ready for this years pillowfight day