I really wish this had been a conversation I had, but alas it was a conversation between a colleague (YoYoMan) and a cold caller.
Cold Caller (cc): “So sir we are conducting a survey on how your home is supplied, may I ask where you get your electricity?”
YoYoMan (YYM): “Yep we have a nuclear fission reactor under the house, this supplies us with our electricity.“
CC: “oh, is this provided by a company?“
YYM: “nope I built it myself.“
CC: “ok how is your house heated? And who is your supplier?“
YYM: “well the house is heated by the cooling system for my reactor, it’s a bit of a pain in summer mind“
CC: “ok, so if I was to offer you a price comparison and was able to find you a cheaper supplier would you be interested?“
YYM: “firstly no, as I built the reactor myself and it’s free electricity and heating, but do you have any information on companies that deal with air conditioning, and possibly someone to help deal with the reactive waste?“
CC: “what do you mean sir?“
YYM: “well I’m looking for someone who could take my spent fuel rod when the time comes, I don’t think it would be safe just to bury it in the back garden...”
CC: “one moment sir I will speak to my supervisor“.
CC: “I’m sorry sir my supervisor has advised I end this call. Goodbye“