And Now for Something Completely Different

Time seems to be flowing a lot faster than normal these days, I swear I only have to blink and several days have flown past. For example I was considering writing this post Monday, I blinked, made myself a cup of Coffee and its now Thursday Friday? Anyway, here goes the actual post :-

Its been a few years now since I have done a “what I did the Weekend” style post. And I’m feeling nostalgic for reasons you will discover by the time you finish reading this post, so here goes for old time sake.

What I did The Weekend.


Who said Romance Was Dead?

You cant beat a “good ole family barn raising“.

Well, technically there was No barn’s raised, Or any Barns at all really. And the closet thing to an Amish was a tall blond in skin-tight jodhpurs who walked past at one point. (What is it about boots, & Tight Jodhpurs? Sorry was distracted there….)

The other weekend there was Three generations of my family doing some work at my parents place. (Gen1) My Father (Gen2) Me (Gen3) Two of my Nephews. We were rebuilding some wooden parts of the garden that have started to rot from old age, and repaint the wooden fences, etc.. (This is Just Scene Setting)

While we were having a much needed Ten minute Coffee break, Nephew No1 was talking about a row of houses near where he lives where they all got a government grant to do work on the houses, apart from the end house in the terrace who’s door is on the other road so missed out. So it got mentioned that the grants been going round for ages now (Slowly) and that My Grandfather had it for his place, had the whole place gutted and rebuilt with the grant paying 70% of costs.

This led to the story of the rebuild. Which was such a touching story of Love & Romance that I thought I’d share it with you Dear Reader.

My Grandparents house then was built over an old mine shaft, meaning you could not get a mortgage on the building, and it was a bit unstable. This did mean they were able to buy it for very little money. So when they had the option of a 70% Government grant for building work, My Grandfather jumped at the chance.

After discussions with the builders it was decided to strip building, fill the mine shaft with a concrete plug & cap, rewire the house, re-plumb, Install new central heating, re-plaster, the works. This would involve the floors Upstairs, and down being removed, the walls stripped of existing plaster, and the electric/water being off. Basically the house would be unsuitable to live in for roughly a month.

Now my Grandfather being a practical man, he decided that was no problem. They would simply move into the garage for the month.

I should point out here, the garage was a large building, Brick walls on three sides. The roof was Tin sheeting, and the front wall was a full length wooden door, which only partially fitted with huge gaps. So all in all, a draughty cold room

To make it more liveable he put the carpets from the house down on the concrete floor, he put a bed, sofa and TV in there along with a kettle and cooker. Now, my Grandmother was not a plan of this idea. She was not living in a cold, spider infested garage.  She wanted to go on holiday while the work was being done, or at least stay in a B&B or Hotel.  So my Grandfather sat her down and explained that they could not go on holiday as someone needed to stay and keep an eye on the builders. Also if the builders saw “an old woman” living in such a bad place they would work harder and get the job done.  He also pointed out that they had a daughter living next door, so they had access to a bath, toilet, and such. After much discussion she finally decided to do what he suggested. So she helped him make the garage more homely and comfortable. After all, they had lived through the War, what was a few weeks of discomfort, as long as they were together.

Two days before the builders were due to start, my Grandmother walked into her bedroom to check everything had been put away. There she saw my Grandfather packing a suitcase with some clothes. Confused she asked him what he was doing. “Didn’t I remind you? I’m off to Australia for a month tour with the choir. Its been booked for over a year.

He’d never had any intention of living in the garage himself.  He had made it as comfortable as he could for his wife of many many years, he was just not staying in it himself…

Who says chivalry is dead.

I should point out before anyone gets upset about my Grandmother. After a long monologue of mostly very bad words that would make a sailor blush, my grandfather was forced able to get a second plane ticket, and upgrade his hotel room to a double, so she could go on holiday with him.

The Universe Hates me

I am on holiday this week.  A full week away from the Insane Asylum, work, customers or as I like to call them “The Bane of My Life“.  So far I’m still full of the festive cheer, festive beer, and festive treats.  I have been working my way through the DVD’s I got for Xmas, There is a nice layer of snow over everything making the world look a peaceful place.  There is only one thorn in my festive happiness…… CUSTOMERS!

Monday the Governor of the Asylum threw a support ticket at my email marked urgent. It was from a customers developer. They had asked for a new hosting area with Joomla installed on it, and it was done on the last working day of the year (last job before we finished for the day)


HI. You set up a Joomla hosting for us, and you set it up wrong. I can not get it to upload modules, I’ve checked the permissions via FTP and they are wrong. I need this installed correctly, fix the permissions and test it!

Hello? We installed it wrong? Have you ever installed Joomla? You ftp the files to your hosting, go to a webpage, answer a few basic questions and its installed! Idiot!. Ok, so he has a permission problem, so he’s decided to use the web server to upload the files instead of putting his FTP details into Joomla’s config to let Joomla handle it. OK. Now. the guy knows enough to check permissions with FTP.  So why does he not change them with FTP to fix his problem? Its a rush job, we’re on holiday, be quicker to do it himself.  Anyway, permissions changed, idiot informed it quicker to change them himself.


Hi. Our developer is being a hero and working over his holiday to get our new website developed, He has a problem with you installing Joomla wrong, can you fix this urgently!

OK. Now I am mad. Firstly: -Your developer may be working over his holidays, That does not mean everyone else should be working over theirs. Secondly:- The Install was not done incorrectly, Your developer does not seem to have a clue. Thirdly:- I spoke to your developer yesterday, If he’s not informed you thats his problem not mine!

Do you get the feeling I’m not a people person?


Hi. I changed the permissions on the folder and it still will not let me upload files. Can we restart and install Joomla correctly!

OK, maybe he has a point. Lets look. ok, he lists the directory he having trouble uploading into, he says he set permissions to 777. Oh, thats odd, permissions have not been changed. oh look, theres a directory of the same name one branch down, and that has 777 permissions, The idiots only changed the wrong directory.  I would not mind but he sent me the path to the correct one, why couldn’t he have followed his own instructions.

If I get another set of emails from him, I may just stop being polite.


So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

So, Today is the last Thursday in November, Which means two things :-

  1. Shit, Its getting close to Yule, and were did the year go?
  2. Its Thanksgiving Day.

Yes, Its thanksgiving. The day Americans give thanks for the Pilgrims who landed on the shores of America.  Wiped out thousands of the natives with biological warfare and stole the country with the cunning use of flags and the Winchester repeating rifle!.

Talking of the Pilgrims.  “They left Plymouth and landed in Plymouth. How lucky is that?

Whatever the historical reasons for the holiday, Its now a day to sit back, give thanks to those things you are thankful for, eat and drink lots, and rest up for the mad rush of “Black Friday“.

So “Happy Thanksgiving”

Holiday Happyness


Today is finally over.

I am now off for my weeks Holiday.

No Work. No Phones. Just Peace, Fun, & Beer!!

See you soon…

WoW: Week off Work

Well I had a week off work…

I Went to a few places, did some stuff, caught up on things that needed doing, and spent some time doing absolutely F all (Which apparently doesn’t count as sloth!!)..

But it was a good break… I needed to get away from the office for a bit! But now I’m back. And its the same-ole same-ole, No changes, we still employing the waste of space who’s been on fake-sick since start of november, the development department still covering for support, etc…

Ah well, such is life, There just better be decent wage reviews in April… (If it happens then satan will be skating to work…)

But on another note, I went into my week off with my 101 tasks standing at 6 finished/6 in-progress. and I am now on 8 finished/13 in-progress, so it was a productive week.. 🙂

Anyway.. Better do some work for a bit…