by CodeNinja | Feb 10, 2010 | Programing
I did have a different post that I was planning on writing today. I just figured that what I’m seeing on my Desktop Screens deserved sharing. I’m doing some work on a site, and have copied it to a development area so my work does not affect the live site. Unfortunately the site URL & Document root are hard coded across the site, So before I can start I’m having to fix this.
So I find an include file full of variables. Which is a good way of doing it, since if you make any changes you only need to edit one file. Here’s an example of said file.
$site_name = “****************;
$site_email = “****@*******”;
$site_url = “http://********************/”;
$ip = ***.***.***.***;
$site_path = “/*****/******/*****”;
******** to protect customers privacy.
OK. Seems fair right? That’s only a small snippet of set variables There are dozens and dozens of them. Now, every other file on the site starts off with including this variable file. They then go on to reset all the variables in it to the same values. e.g. :-
<?php
require(**included file**);
$site_name = “****************;
$site_email = “****@*******”;
$site_url = “http://********************/”;
$ip = ***.***.***.***;
$site_path = “/*****/******/*****”;
??? WTF ???
Now, I know the original person who built the site did it all at the same time. so that discounts it being an extra file added at a later rebuild, and the variables per file had not yet been removed.
And as for the coding in the rest of the site, Lets just say I have begged to be allowed to rm -Rf * the whole directory and start again from scratch as it will be quicker/better.
by CodeNinja | Jan 29, 2010 | Work, iPhone, Programing
I wonder if there is any of the old “Busby” Puppets/Models/Anything still around I could get my hands on, and then film its destruction by the use of Thermite. I think something along those lines defiantly needs doing, as the Fat Yellow BarSteward is currently the bane of my life. To put it simply “I HATE PHONE SYSTEMS“. I along with the majority of work colleges Past and Present blame the Phone Systems for all the problems the Insane Asylum has had over the last 4 or 5 years.
Let me mention a few of the current reasons that I wish to rain down thermite on a marketing logo, or the telecommunications industry, or the next person to mention phones.
*Directory Enquiries
Now this was a Project I finished, its all written and finalised. There is just one thing, BT’s security demands a user entered none automated file upload. And since the Asylum paid for my access to the BT system, It means I have to do the manual uploads. This involves changing IP addresses, checking huge thousand line text files for any bad words (it goes up in my name so checks needed) then connecting to their system, uploading a file, then several times over the following weeks doing it all again to download results. Now we currently do it every few months so its not too bad. Only I overheard Governor talking yesterday, he’s pushing it to go for weekly uploads, or better yet daily!. I’m supposed to be SysAd/SysDev not a fraking Data Input Drone.
*WLR3
Apparently BT are phasing out WLR2 and replacing it with WLR3. WLR2 will no longer exist after March 2011. I know, terrifying isn’t it? “what do you mean you have no idea what WLR2/3 is?” Well to be honest, I have no clue what it is either, Never heard of it, used it, etc. Yet, I have been given the task of developing a software integration from our system to theirs to handle all the WLR3 stuff. Now, all the info I have so far is a Phone conference call I was on, Where basically they just told us we have to do it soon, and suggested we purchase a pre-made system. To be fair they laughed when the Governor said we would be developing our own. They pointed out that some other companies have tried, and they may have Great Dev departments, but its too complex, and too many phone things only people in industry know for any team to develop in time frame. TEAM?? The Governor wants me to do it on my own. And on top of my normal workload, and covering everyone else in the Asylum!!!!
*WebSite Redesign
We have a website for a sister company, trading name kinda thing for our phone products. It was written by a partner company (who since went bust) and is the worst pile of junk you could imagine. Say you need a website, give the programming job to an artist who knows no code. give him a php book, and tell him the more functions and pointless stuff you add, the better the site is. Its shite. it needs deleting and starting from new. Well they decided to re-write it using the existing code, and Guess who gets to rebuild the site? You got it, me, on top of the impossible WLR3 project, and on top of normal workload. Oh, but lets have a quick dev meeting first to discuss what we having on there. Only that turned out to be a two and a half hour marketing meeting, where they discussed costs, pricing, and what terms the sales person should use when selling things that had nothing to do with the website in question.
At this meeting I learnt Apple lies, there is not an app for everything. I searched their store, and there are no apps that allow you to use an iphone to rip out your own heart.
CN
Updating CV.
by CodeNinja | Jan 18, 2010 | Work
I’m sat at my desk having my afternoon Nap. When I’m rudely CC’d into one of the Governors email conversations. It turns out the Insane Asylum is migrating from WLR2 to WLR3 and the Governor is organising a phone conference to discuss the ways to proceed. And He wants me involved in the conference call as I will be managing the migration.
Now, I didn’t know we were on WLR2, what happened to WLR1? and more importantly WTF is WLR?
According to the Governor its a nice project for me to get my teeth into. This normally translates as its boring, its complicated, and no one else can or will work on it. So they give it to me.
When will they realise I hate BT, and anything Phone based.
::mutters::
CN
by CodeNinja | Dec 30, 2009 | Holiday, Customers
I am on holiday this week. A full week away from the Insane Asylum, work, customers or as I like to call them “The Bane of My Life“. So far I’m still full of the festive cheer, festive beer, and festive treats. I have been working my way through the DVD’s I got for Xmas, There is a nice layer of snow over everything making the world look a peaceful place. There is only one thorn in my festive happiness…… CUSTOMERS!
Monday the Governor of the Asylum threw a support ticket at my email marked urgent. It was from a customers developer. They had asked for a new hosting area with Joomla installed on it, and it was done on the last working day of the year (last job before we finished for the day)
Monday:
HI. You set up a Joomla hosting for us, and you set it up wrong. I can not get it to upload modules, I’ve checked the permissions via FTP and they are wrong. I need this installed correctly, fix the permissions and test it!
Hello? We installed it wrong? Have you ever installed Joomla? You ftp the files to your hosting, go to a webpage, answer a few basic questions and its installed! Idiot!. Ok, so he has a permission problem, so he’s decided to use the web server to upload the files instead of putting his FTP details into Joomla’s config to let Joomla handle it. OK. Now. the guy knows enough to check permissions with FTP. So why does he not change them with FTP to fix his problem? Its a rush job, we’re on holiday, be quicker to do it himself. Anyway, permissions changed, idiot informed it quicker to change them himself.
Tuesday:
Hi. Our developer is being a hero and working over his holiday to get our new website developed, He has a problem with you installing Joomla wrong, can you fix this urgently!
OK. Now I am mad. Firstly: -Your developer may be working over his holidays, That does not mean everyone else should be working over theirs. Secondly:- The Install was not done incorrectly, Your developer does not seem to have a clue. Thirdly:- I spoke to your developer yesterday, If he’s not informed you thats his problem not mine!
Do you get the feeling I’m not a people person?
Wednesday:
Hi. I changed the permissions on the folder and it still will not let me upload files. Can we restart and install Joomla correctly!
OK, maybe he has a point. Lets look. ok, he lists the directory he having trouble uploading into, he says he set permissions to 777. Oh, thats odd, permissions have not been changed. oh look, theres a directory of the same name one branch down, and that has 777 permissions, The idiots only changed the wrong directory. I would not mind but he sent me the path to the correct one, why couldn’t he have followed his own instructions.
If I get another set of emails from him, I may just stop being polite.
CN
by CodeNinja | Dec 23, 2009 | Holiday, Office
So its Christmas, Well OK it’s not actually Christmas Day or anything, It is however the last working day at the Asylum.
FREEEEEDOM!!!!
Now in the current financial climate, with customers going Bust, People spending less, the ready cash flow for the asylum is a bit on the bare side, so there is no bonus’s or such this year. Now one of the company directors has bought every member of the Asylums staff a “Bottle of Wine” for Christmas, Which is a nice gesture, and as a director it represents the company.
The only problem is, He decided to get every member of the Asylum a gift, with the exception of the Two members of the SysAdmin department.
This man really needs to read the BOFH. He would then know how BAD an idea it is to annoy the Admin.
Next Year should be interesting.
CN
BTW: Merry Christmas One and All.
