I live in Narnia

Last night I was visiting a friends Lodge in the deepest, darkest wilderness that is Cheshire, England. It was an enjoyable evening, right up to the end of the meal when I happened to check my phone and spot the following text messages :-

“Snowing like hell and sticking, wouldn’t stay too long, weather warning on TV” 18:49

“Stopped snowing but still a good covering, sky looks like more to come.” 19:41

The time I read these messages, 22:01. YES. Several hours after receiving the warning of bad weather, so just how bad would it be now? Since I am a sensible person (Oi! shut it you!!!) I did not stay for any after meal drinks, or late night esoteric discussions, but left immediately after I finished the apple crumble & custard.

The car-park and surrounding area were snow free when I left, which was a good start to the trip home as I will admit I was feeling a little bit worried. The worry of “will I make it home” was added to by the closure of the main route back into Wales, and many other smaller road closures and diversions, meaning most of my trip would be on lesser roads. Roads that may not be gritted, or used as much.

SO the long journey began, along dark misty roads where I was often the only car travelling. All the time I was ready to start dealing with SNOWMAGEDDON!!

Oddly I made it all the way to Wales without seeing even a single snowflake. I decided this was understandable, It is often snowing in Wales and not in England. SO on we went, ever vigilant for the bad weather. 45 Minutes later, and I was almost home. And other than the mist, I had encountered no adverse weather, there was no snow on the ground, or trees, buildings, anywhere.

SO, Maybe there was a heavy rain earlier that had washed away all the snow? That must be it. So I continued on, not so vigilant and singing along to the cdplayer….

1 mile from home I had a decision to make. My normal route goes down a load of country roads which are best avoided in bad weather. The other option was to travel further on and then come back on myself via the local village where the roads can be safer to use in bad weather. Since there had been NO SIGN OF SNOW, not even the left over snow you get on the side of the road, I decided to risk the back country roads. 10 minutes later, I arrived at the turning to the road I live along, and started to turn.

HOLY FRELLING GORRAM FRAK

The road in front of me was white, the trees, hedges white, everything was under an inch of snow. And it was snowing, and snowing heavy. I skidded to a stop and looked behind me, No snow. In front Snow.

There was actually a line level with the end of the road. one side was a complete covering of snow, the other normal black road. One side it was snowing heavy, the other not even rain.

It was then that I realised. I actually live in Narnia!!!

P.S. For those curious, This morning I left for work and went the other way along my road, and at the other end of the road. Yup. another white line where the snow just stops.

Snowmageddon – 2013

UPDATE:

I realised this blog had been getting a bit too wordy, and was lacking some images. So I thought I would share some of the images from Snowmagedon 2012 Gorram years changing on me.. 2013.

Schrodinger’s Snow

I have a new theory!

R:You say you have a new theory about the brontosaurus.?

GN:errr No. I said I had a new theory! nobody mentioned a brontosaurus.

R:Right, Got You… So What’s your theory about the brontosaurus.?

GN:Arrrrrggghhhhh!” ::sigh:: “OK, This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end; much, much thicker in the middle; and then thin again at the far end.

Ignoring that mindless drivel. I have a new theoretical supposition involving the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. (impressive right?)

Let me set the environment for this eureka moment.

  1. Warm bed.
  2. Early Morning.
  3. Work Day.

    So there I was all warm and comfortable when my alarm went off telling me it was time (Give or take several hits of the snooze button) to get up and get ready to go to work.

    Now the previous evening/night it had been snowing rather heavy and at the time I had last checked before going to bed, the snow was a couple of inches deep.  If the snow had continued over night then there would be no way I would be driving to work, so would be working from home. This would mean I could go back to sleep for an extra hour.  On the other hand, If the snow had changed to rain then the pre-fallen snow would have been destroyed leaving the roads clear for traffic.

    So at this point the availability of an extra hour lie-in is dependent on the situation outside my building. Has the snow blocked me in, or has the snow gone? The only way to determine the quantum state of the snow (Snow or Water) is for the observer (me) getting up and looking outside to observe the current state.

    The problem with this is :-  If I get out of bed to go check outside, then I am already up and about so any chance of a lie-in is destroyed.

    On a side note. I think I need an Network Camera so I can check the conditions outside without leaving my bed.

    R:Pah! I proffered the theory about the brontosaurus.

    GN.

    So, what’s the fox urine for?

    Snow… Snow… Snow… All I can see is snow.  The worlds covered in a thick blanket of fluffy white snow almost a foot deep. Now this was a beautiful and wondrous thing for the first few days, but now? After over a week of being trapped indoors, unable to go out, its getting a bit annoying.

    You see, I live in the middle of the countryside, And even though I drive a foul wheel drive vehicle, the snows been too bad to even get out of my parking place onto my drive, let alone up my steep drive onto the road (Which is never ploughed or gritted) So I’m trapped.  I could walk to the nearest Village about a mile away, only with the deep snow, and freezing cold I’m saving that for emergencies like running out of coffee.

    I should take a moment here to explain this posts title. Not everyone is a Major Film Geek (I know I’m not) and may not pick up on subtle reference’s. The Title is a quote from the movie “Cabin Fever

    The only human interaction I am getting is over IM/Twitter/Etc. And I’m beginning to worry I may be getting this thing I’ve heard off called Cabin Fever. (Damn, why have i not yet watched that episode of Mythbusters?). OK. No worries, Quick to the GOOGLE!!!!!

    Cabin fever is an idiomatic term for a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in, in a small space, with nothing to do, for an extended period (as in a simple country vacation cottage during a long rain or snow). Symptoms include restlessness, irritability, forgetfulness, laughter, and excessive sleeping, distrust of anyone they are with, and an urge to go outside even in the (less miserable) rain, snow or dark.

    OK, so Cabin Fever can be got by being snowed into a cottage, so I have the environment for getting it. Right Lets check the symptoms.

    restlessness, irritability, forgetfulness, laughter, and excessive sleeping, distrust of anyone they are with, and an urge to go outside even in the (less miserable) rain, snow or dark.

    Nope, Don’t think I have any of those symptoms yet. Do you?” I asked the Evil looking Goth Gnome that’s sitting next to my keyboard.  He just shrugged, he’s not very helpful.

    Well I’ve not really been sleeping much, never do. and the rest of them don’t sound like me… Hummmmmm. OK. I have been playing with a knife and the end of my desk now has lots of small holes in it from where i was stabbing it.” This is probably why the Gnome didn’t say anything, It’s best not to upset the possibly deranged bloke playing with a razor sharp knife.

    No. I don’t think I have Cabin Fever.

    Well I’ve since dismantled the knife to see if i can re-design it into a faster drawing setup. The Gnomes taken to muttering to himself, I think He’s loosing it being snowbound. I need to keep an eye on him, I cant trust he’s not up to something.

    So I’m just popping out for a minute, I may be some time………….

    Theres Snow Business Like Snow Business!

    Well I finally managed to get into the Office for the first time since I had an early dart Tuesday due to bad weather (and its now Friday). You see Tuesday where I live had 5.4Inches of snow. I know its exactly 5.4 Inches since I pushed a ruler into the snow and measured.

    So Wednesday morning I woke up to the snow, and my car which was just a big mound of snow with icicles hanging off it. I looked at the drive (Uphill) which was just a mass of snow, and the road that goes bast my drive which is never ploughed/gritted/etc, and I went back indoors and worked from home for two days.

    Now today (Friday) the snow is still there, the council have yet to do anything about the state of my road. So “Why did you go to work?” I hear you ask. Well one of my neighbours has spent the last two days playing with a mini-digger slowly clearing his way to civilisation. And I felt that his sacrifice should not be in vain. So To work I went!

    What?

    You don’t believe me?

    I’m shocked, Shocked and Hurt!……….

    OK. Well there may have been the secondary issue of running out of coffee and needing to go out to get some. But I’m sure I’d have gone to work anyway, coffee or no coffee.