CR: “Chair of DOOM?“

GN: “OK, maybe “Chair of DOOM!” is a bit of an over-exaggeration, but it does have a much better ring than “Chair of Nerves“. Oh, Now i think of it “Chair of Terror” would be a much better title.”

CR: “Then Why dont you change it?“

GN: “Couldn’t be buggered, So just had this imaginary conversation with you to explain how the title could be better!“

CR: “So you just wrote NINTY ONE words to save replacing ONE word in the Title?“

GN: “Yes…. Yes I did!“

Last night was my first meeting as master of a Freemasons Lodge, and we decided to start off with the biggest ceremony we could (A Third for those that know), Nothing like starting big  to settle into our new roles easy. In fact a large number of people actually asked me last night “Why did you not start with an easier night? We’d never do a third in our first meeting” And I had no reasonable answer for them, Insanity is not really a reasonable answer or so I am told.

Now I am a naturally shy person (No matter what PlanetPete says) so I find it uncomfortable being the center of attention, so was uneasy in the run up to last night thinking about being in the spotlight, but as we were lining up to walk into the room I was surprised at just how nervous I was. I’m telling you “Chair of Terror” is a good name for it, I’m sure I’ll get used to it, probably just as soon as its my turn to step down and hand the care of it to my successor.

But even with the nerves, the most predominant thought in my head was “When are these guys going to realise I don’t have a clue what I’m doing!“. In my years as a member I’ve always assumed the Master knows whats going on, has the answers, and so on. But me? I am sat there looking around at people asking me questions, wanting my opinion, all the while as the voices in my head scream “Why are you looking at me?” or “SHIT!!!! they are going to suss me out soon“. I have to say its a very odd feeling sitting there on the big chair.

I should end by saying it all worked out and it was a good night, and no one seemed to suspect I was clueless. So By Bingo I have survived for another time.

In November I enter the Chair of KS, and as the shadow of that chair starts to fall on me, I am beginning to feel the nerves awaken.  My original plan was to enjoy my year as SW and ignore the chair until half way through the year, and then start to worry. Alas this plan has gone the way of so many plans over time.

The Shadow first made its presence felt last December at our Christmas Social. Half way through the meal, our ADC who was sat opposite me started asking how I was doing looking at the bits to learn for Installation (And we had only just had the last Installation at our last meeting). I informed him that the event was not till next year so I had made no start yet. The Shadow slipped out of site for the rest of the meal, only to return at the end and grab me by the arm in the guise of the Treasurer. “I’m just going to pay the bill and was wondering. Do you want me to provisionally re-book the place for next year?”

On Saturday we had a rehearsal for our next meeting. As we were all greeting each other and wishing “Happy New Year” and catching up, the Shadow tapped me on the shoulder and took me to one side. “Happy New Year, so have you considered who you would like as Organist & Singer for Nov? you need to book them early” *MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* and my answer of “It’s not till next year” is now invalid.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to my year in the Chair. It’s just that I am feeling the nerves of the responsibility (I’m a naturally shy person). And I will do the required planning/learning but I’d just wish the Shadow would let me at least have a few nights as SW before i have to worry.