I live in Narnia

Last night I was visiting a friends Lodge in the deepest, darkest wilderness that is Cheshire, England. It was an enjoyable evening, right up to the end of the meal when I happened to check my phone and spot the following text messages :-

“Snowing like hell and sticking, wouldn’t stay too long, weather warning on TV” 18:49

“Stopped snowing but still a good covering, sky looks like more to come.” 19:41

The time I read these messages, 22:01. YES. Several hours after receiving the warning of bad weather, so just how bad would it be now? Since I am a sensible person (Oi! shut it you!!!) I did not stay for any after meal drinks, or late night esoteric discussions, but left immediately after I finished the apple crumble & custard.

The car-park and surrounding area were snow free when I left, which was a good start to the trip home as I will admit I was feeling a little bit worried. The worry of “will I make it home” was added to by the closure of the main route back into Wales, and many other smaller road closures and diversions, meaning most of my trip would be on lesser roads. Roads that may not be gritted, or used as much.

SO the long journey began, along dark misty roads where I was often the only car travelling. All the time I was ready to start dealing with SNOWMAGEDDON!!

Oddly I made it all the way to Wales without seeing even a single snowflake. I decided this was understandable, It is often snowing in Wales and not in England. SO on we went, ever vigilant for the bad weather. 45 Minutes later, and I was almost home. And other than the mist, I had encountered no adverse weather, there was no snow on the ground, or trees, buildings, anywhere.

SO, Maybe there was a heavy rain earlier that had washed away all the snow? That must be it. So I continued on, not so vigilant and singing along to the cdplayer….

1 mile from home I had a decision to make. My normal route goes down a load of country roads which are best avoided in bad weather. The other option was to travel further on and then come back on myself via the local village where the roads can be safer to use in bad weather. Since there had been NO SIGN OF SNOW, not even the left over snow you get on the side of the road, I decided to risk the back country roads. 10 minutes later, I arrived at the turning to the road I live along, and started to turn.

HOLY FRELLING GORRAM FRAK

The road in front of me was white, the trees, hedges white, everything was under an inch of snow. And it was snowing, and snowing heavy. I skidded to a stop and looked behind me, No snow. In front Snow.

There was actually a line level with the end of the road. one side was a complete covering of snow, the other normal black road. One side it was snowing heavy, the other not even rain.

It was then that I realised. I actually live in Narnia!!!

P.S. For those curious, This morning I left for work and went the other way along my road, and at the other end of the road. Yup. another white line where the snow just stops.

Full Moon Powered Friday 13th

Today is Friday 13Th.

Don’t Panic.

It is just a stupid superstition right? In this modern technological world we have no need for ancient superstitions right? Or in this impersonal online world are we more in need of reminders of things beyond our comprehension?

And just how bad is Friday the 13th anyway? Fridays are good, they herald in the weekend, and we all like the weekend don’t we?

OK, SO it is supposed to be unlucky, So it is the day when Murphy’s Law is in full swing, and if anything bad can happen, it will happen in triplicate! So what if people stay off the roads, and refuse to fly and other such things. It’s only superstition.

isn’t it?

DON’T PANIC!!

BUT wait! Tonight there is a Full Moon! You know a full moon, The time of Werewolves, and Witches Covens, of Lunatics, and increased madness!

So to recap.

  1. The Unluckiest day of the year
  2. The Day of the month most likely to cause Insanity, Shape-shifting, & evil magic.
  3. AT THE SAME TIME

FRAK IT, PANIC!!!

friday13th

Friday 13th – triple bad look score Part 2

Today is Friday 13Th.

Don’t Panic.

It is just a stupid superstition right? In this modern technological world we have no need for ancient superstitions right? Or in this impersonal online world are we more in need of reminders of things beyond our comprehension?

Did you also realise we are in the 13th year of this century? SO that makes :-

Today is Friday 13th 2013.

DON’T PANIC!!

Here is a fun fact for you. Did you know that this 13th year of this century will have two Friday 13th’s in it? and that they will be 13 weeks apart?

FRAK IT, PANIC!!!

friday13th

Friday 13th – triple bad look score Part 1

Today is Friday 13Th.

Don’t Panic.

It is just a stupid superstition right? In this modern technological world we have no need for ancient superstitions right? Or in this impersonal online world are we more in need of reminders of things beyond our comprehension?

Did you also realise we are in the 13th year of this century? SO that makes :-

Today is Friday 13th 2013.

DON’T PANIC!!

Here is a fun fact for you. Did you know that this 13th year of this century will have two Friday 13th’s in it? and that they will be 13 weeks apart?

FRAK IT, PANIC!!!

Jimmy shoes busted both his legs, trying to learn to fly

Recently while watching an episode of the 1970’s series “Wonder Woman” I realised a very significant Superhero fact.

Wonder Woman is this attractive, super powered Hero until she puts on some normal clothes and a pair of glasses and becomes plain old Diana Prince Secretary.

Superman, The man of steel, A super powered Hero until he dresses in normal clothes and puts on a pair of glasses and becomes plain old Clark Kent reporter.

So working with these facts I reverse engineered the whole Superhero effect. And after hours of complex formulas and MATHS!!! I came up with the underlying logic of super powers. Glasses counter powers.

Armed with this knowledge I did the only sensible next step in testing my theory. I removed my glasses and put my pants on the outside,  thereby granting myself Super Powers!!!

PEOPLE!!!!

Mathematics Lies!!!

Turns out working backwards and taking a plain normal person, dressing them as a superhero and removing their glasses does not grant them superpowers 🙁

On a side note, I will accept full responsibility for the injuries sustained in this scientific experimentation.  In hindsight, maybe the “Can leap tall buildings in a single bound” testing should have been jumping from the ground upwards, and not off the top of a tall building.

Also, Flying is not easy to learn when falling. Mother Birds are bitches for throwing their kids out the nest to see if they can fly!!!

Hopefully the casts will come off soon, and I’ll be back up on my foot, Who needs two legs really? I think I’m just one step closer to every humans goal of being a killer cyborg.

GN.
Mild Mannered Blogger and not super hero at all.

I think the worlds trying to tell me something.

I have recently had an epiphany, and I thought in my egotistical way (Hey I write on a blog, and have a Myriad of personal websites, of course I’m an egomaniac.) that I would share it with you Dear Readers.

Now I am used to seeing people find this blog with the following search terms, or variations. “pure evil“, “kill everyone“, “evil“, etc. Now, as I said, I’m used to seeing them I don’t understand why these searches find me, or what kind of person google’s “Kill everyone”.

And I will also admit to being used to friends & family joking that I am evil, and denying my claims to “niceness”. Yet on top of all this, I was shocked at the weekend. Let me explain :-

My Niece loves playing “The Sims 2“. and at the weekend she got an expansion pack for it called something like “Apartment Life“. Now one of the extras this gives you, is the ability to became a magical being. A witch or Warlock. Now my niece wanted to be a good witch, only she was unsure how you do it. So being a good uncle, I looked it up on google and explained it to her. I also figured I’d test it myself in case she needed further help.

So I created myself a Character, I based it to look as close to me as I could, I set it with my star sign, my interests and personality (to the best degree i could), and i was ready to go.

According to google, you simply go to a community lot and hang about. After a while a Witch will pop up. Easy enough, I load up my Sims and head over to the library. A short while later the Good Witch turns up, so I go over to greet her. That was when things went downhill. Within a minute the good witch had gone from a friendship score of 0 (don’t know me) to -30 (hates me) and she would walk off if I went anywhere near her. “OK. maybe I just not any good at this game“.

That was when the Evil Witch turned up. So I went over to greet her. Within a minute our friendship had gone from 0 to 98. Not only that but she was in love with my Sim. WTF?

Is the sims trying to tell me that my Star Sign/Personality only matches with evil?

I think more research is needed. So watch this space.