CARmic Justice

Yes I know it’s spelled Karmic, but why miss out on the opportunity of a pun šŸ˜‰

 

Last night on my commute home, I came upon a long straight stretch of road that for once was clear of all traffic in either directions (myself excluded) So I got to travel along at the speed limit <cough>slightly over</cough>. There I am, happily travelling along when WHOOSH!!!

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A black sports car goes flying past me at least 20 mph over the legal limit, and heading for an unbelievably twisty, winding mountain pass at a seriously unsafe speed. I barely have time to shake my head at the stupidity when a red sporty BMW comes whooshing up as well, but due to oncoming traffic coming out the mountain pass, he has to pull in behind me.

NOTE: I think they were racing, which is stupid and dangerous on normal roads, but on Welsh country roads? which are very twisty andĀ you can not see far ahead, and any bend could be hiding tractors, horse riders, sheep or cows, its fraking stupid!

After the oncoming cars pass, the driver of the BMW decides to overtake, but since we are now entering the pass he can’t, so instead he pulls back in behind me and tries to communicate with me. He flashes his headlights loads, then speeds up so his bumper is almost touching mine, and starts revving his engine with the clutch in to make it roar.

Alas, since I do not speak TrippleD (Dangerous Driving Dick) Ā I try my best to translate.

  • Flashing Headlight: If I recall the highway code, this means Danger? A Warning.
  • Bumper to Bumper: No idea, maybe he’s trying to hug me.
  • Revving Engine Like mad: Ah, my engine is going to fast?

OK, he is obviously telling me I am driving too fast and I need to slow down. So I do, right down to 30 mph. I believe I guessed the translation correctly as he stops flashing his lights and pulls back a bit. But he keeps doing the revving loudly thing, the poor thing much be worried I will loose control on a bend. SO even thought I am going really slow, I break for every bend, and go round them almost at a crawl.

What seems like hours later (Gods, it seemed to take forever to navigate the pass at a crawl) we reach the end, and my friend hugs me again by going bumper to bumper, then pulls out into the path of oncoming traffic forcing them to practically do an emergency stop, before he shot off up the road and out of sight.

“Gosh darn, that’s a bit dangerous” I announced

I did not expect to see him again, well maybe sticking out of a hedge, or upside down in a ditch. So imagine my surprise when a short while later I turned a bend and came right up behind the TripleD in the red BMW. Now double that surprise when I realise in front of him is the TripleD in the black sports car that blurred past me before the pass. They are both travelling along at a stupid slow speed, because in front of them…

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..Was a Farmer, driving a battered old Land Rover. And he was driving practically in the middle of the road blocking both lanes. Whenever a car approached from the other direction, he would pull back into our lane to let them pass before pulling back out to prevent the TripleD’s from overtaking.

I will not lie Dear Constant Reader. I may have given that old farmer a high5, and cheer, there may even have been a tear shed, over the utter brilliance. I felt a kindred spirit with that farmer. Alas I do not believe the TripleD’s understood the great carmic force, they just seemed to be very angry, or giving each other and the farmer hugs. As I said, I do not speak their language.

Drive Safe.

 

I live in Narnia

Last night I was visiting a friends Lodge in the deepest, darkest wilderness that is Cheshire, England.Ā It was an enjoyable evening, right up to the end of the meal when I happened to check my phone and spot the following text messages :-

“Snowing like hell and sticking, wouldn’t stay too long, weather warning on TV” 18:49

“Stopped snowing but still a good covering, sky looks like more to come.” 19:41

The time I read these messages, 22:01. YES. Several hours after receivingĀ the warning of bad weather, so just how bad would it be now? Since I am a sensible person (Oi! shut it you!!!) I did not stay for any after meal drinks, or late night esoteric discussions, but left immediately after I finished the apple crumble & custard.

The car-park and surrounding area were snow free when I left, which was a good start to the trip home as I will admit I was feeling a little bit worried. The worry of “will I make it home” was added to by the closure of the main route back into Wales, and many other smaller road closures and diversions, meaning most of my trip would be on lesser roads. Roads that may not be gritted, or used as much.

SO the long journey began, along dark misty roads where I was often the only car travelling. All the time I was ready to start dealing with SNOWMAGEDDON!!

Oddly I made it all the way to Wales without seeingĀ even a single snowflake. I decided this was understandable, It is often snowing in Wales and not in England. SO on we went, ever vigilant for the bad weather. 45 Minutes later, and I was almost home. And other than the mist, I had encountered no adverse weather, there was no snow on the ground, or trees, buildings, anywhere.

SO, Maybe there was a heavy rain earlier that had washed away all the snow? That must be it. So I continued on, not so vigilant and singing along to the cdplayer….

1 mile from home I had a decision to make. My normal route goes down a load of country roads which are best avoided in bad weather. The other option was to travel further on and then come back on myself via the local village where the roads can be safer to use in bad weather. Since there had been NO SIGN OF SNOW, not even the left over snow you get on the side of the road, I decided to risk the back country roads. 10 minutes later, I arrived at the turning to the road I live along, and started to turn.

HOLY FRELLING GORRAM FRAK

The road in front of me was white, the trees, hedges white, everything was under an inch of snow. And it was snowing, and snowing heavy. I skidded to a stop and looked behind me, No snow. In front Snow.

There was actually a line level with the end of the road. one side was a complete covering of snow, the other normal black road. One side it was snowing heavy, the other not even rain.

It was then that I realised. I actually live in Narnia!!!

P.S. For those curious, This morning I left for work and went the other way along my road, and at the other end of the road. Yup. another white line where the snow just stops.

Three Day Bike Tour of Wales – Recap

Some of the riders at the start

The Participants Bright eyed and ready for their trip.

On the 3rd May 2013 a group of bikers from all over the UK met up in Connah’s Quay, North Wales for a three day sponsored tour of Wales for the benefit of Combat Stress.

Combat Stress is the leading UK charity specialising in the care of Veteransā€™ mental health. They are currently supporting just over 5,000 ex-Service men and women. This includes 637 who served in Iraq and 284 who served in Afghanistan.

While the event was organised by some Freemason’s who are bikers, it was open to all, and in total there was roughly 40 bike’s taking part in the event.

 

waved off by Lord and Lady Barry Jones

Lord & Lady Barry Jones turned up to see the Participants on their way.

The tour started off from the Masonic Lodge at Connah’s Quay where they were waved off by Lord and Lady Barry Jones. The Bikers followed the coastline of North Wales, with a quick stop over to Anglesey, before continuing down the coast to Aberystwyth where They spent the night, also throwing an impromptu Live music concert in the nearest pub to where they were staying.

 

 

 

 

Some of the bikes leaving Brecon

Leaving Brecon

The second day saw them continuing along the coast of Wales, visiting Swansea, and Cardiff where they met Falklands veteran Simon Weston, then on to Brecon where they stopped for the second night, before heading north up Wales on the final leg of their tour ending up where they started in Connah’s Quay, after a trip of roughly 550 Miles over 3 Days.

 

 

Between sponsorship, Lodge donations and the end of tour entertainment evening, over Ā£15,500 was raised. all of which went to Combat Stress since everyone taking part paid for their own petrol, food, and accommodation.

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On The Road

bikes in barmouth

Pitstop in Barmouth

 

The Official 3 Day Tour of Wales Website can be seen HERE

Lolly Pop Hitler

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This morning on my daily commute to the Insane Asylum, I had the misfortune to come across a Hitler.

I was approaching a school up a steep hill, I was the ONLY car on the road, Nothing behind me, no Oncoming traffic, NOTHING.

Yet when I was about 3 meters away from the Lolly Pop Hitler he placed his stick in front of my car making me legally have to stop, from 30mph in less than 3 meters.

All so an adult man could cross the road. The road that was empty apart from my car, after I had passed the man could have crawled across the road. There was no need to stop my car apart from the little Hitler enjoying his power.

Local government needs better vetting processes.

</rant>

Police Target the Wrong Groups

Cartoon-PoliceSo once again the Men and Women of the North Wales Police force are pushing a campaign to make the roads safer. With a ‘Fatal 5’ series of checks.

In case you are unaware The Fatal 5 are :-

  1. Drink/Drug Drive
  2. Speeding
  3. Not Wearing a SpeedBelt
  4. Dangerous Driving
  5. Using a Mobile Phone

 

Now We here at The Three Ninjas Temple fully support their attempts to cut down on people breaking those Five dangerous laws. But we feel there Should be a sixth one added to the list (Suicidal Six)

6. Pushbikes

I know that they are allowed on the roads, but Consider it for a minute. To be allowed onto the DANGEROUS and fast roads on either a Motorbike or a Car you have to pass tests, both written and practical. You have to prove you know the Laws, Rules and can travel the highways of this country safely and without causing danger to others.

BUT! If you wish to travel the same roads on a push-bike, you just buy one and start off. You are sharing the road with vehicles that can travel a lot faster than you, and will do a lot of damage to you if you are not careful, yet you need no test or training.

How often have you been driving and seen a cyclist just pull out at a junction without waiting for a gap, Or just going right out on roundabout (I’ve even seen them go the wrong way around them) Because they do not have to learn the rules of the road, or abide by the laws, and worse. They know if they get hit it will be the driver of the cars fault!

Additionally consider the road rage they inspire, by travelling at a crawl on country roads where its impossible to overtake with them right in the middle of the lane, so the drivers of the cars stuck behind them are almost stalling from travelling so slow.

This morning there was one at a crossroads, He wanted to go straight across, but it was a busy road and he was waiting for the traffic to stop so he could cross. But he was waiting in the middle of the road, preventing cars passing on the inside if they were turning left and did not need to wait for a gap. The tail back was for miles, and several cars got annoyed after waiting for ten minutes and were forced into dangerous driving.

I really believe a lot of lives would be saved, if the police included Push Bikes in their campaign. And pulled them over to check they not drunk, on drugs, stupid, and at least know the laws of the road.

Dear Roadwork Gods, Whatever I did I am sorry!

I am sure I have done something to offend the God of Roadworks, there is no other explanation for what has been going on for the last few weeks. Let me explain.

My commute to work has been extended for a while now due to multiple roadworks and a diversion. Iā€™ve just managed to time my trips to get me to the office in time when they decide to close a major duel carriageway that I use one my trip.

No problems. Iā€™ll bypass that with a country road I know.

Well that worked for two days then they decided to divert all the traffic from the very busy duel carriageway down the small country road i use. making it basically a car park for hours on end.

Ok. some problems but I can drive over the mountains on a single lane country road that no one uses.

Well that one worked for one day. The following day and there are now three sets of road works on that country road. What have a done? What?

Was it that time I moved all the cones in Whitby? I was just trying to save their lives, they were standing in the middle of the road, they could have been run over? What was it? please, I cant go oneā€¦.