The Gay Test

There has been a lot of online discussion about the possible Laws/Bills in America allowing those who object to refuse to serve same-sex couples, and how it is a major step backwards in the evolution of America. I am not going to discuss it here because it has been well covered in other places.

Last night on Facebook someone asked the question :-

I want to know.. If 2 people of the same gender go to a hotel in one of these states that are talking about allowing banning gay people, would they have to somehow prove that they are straight to stay there?

This led to a long comment conversation on possible ways, and the flaws with them. These ways included such test as :-

The Monty Python Test.

What organisation uses a rainbow as its symbol? The LGBT Movement. What is colourful like a rainbow? A peacock.  So, if we weight a person and they way the same as a Peacock, then we know they are gay.

The Weird Pervert Test.

Hotel funded inspection prostitutes. Trained to sleep with customers and evaluate how much they enjoyed it.

 The first test got the response of “WTF???” I am assuming there were none python people in the conversion.  and the second got responses of “ewwwww!!!!!”

Which led to a more sensible conversation, and testing amongst the people involved. I should point out there were Engineers & Scientists involved in this discussion, and after many formulas, maths, & good old-fashioned trial and error we actually came up with a test that was accurate 100% of the time.

I am going to describe the process here, but we are patent-pending the test with the view to selling them and making a small fortune. After all we have the only fool-proof test in existence.

The Science Test.

This test is based on the fact that saliva undergoes a chemical change when the person is sexual aroused. Which suggests a link between sexual preference and the cells of the tongue.

  1. Take a piece of Litmus paper (The colour changing properties of it come in handy).
  2. SECRET STEP. I am leaving this step out so no one else steals our idea. But it is a basic household ingredient applied to the Litmus paper.
  3. Get the Test subject to drink an acidic drink, (any soda will do). This helps looses the cells on the tongue and remove any blocking material.
  4. Get the Test subject to lick the Litmus paper (You get better results if they can keep some liquid in their mouth when making contact with the paper)
  5. Check Paper. If it is wet/damp then the Test subject is normal, if the paper remains dry then they are Abnormal and you are safe to refuse to serve them.

Let the Sun God return to the heavens.

Today is the Winter Solstice, The shortest day of the year, and therefore the longest night. It’s also considered in many cultures & historical cultures to be the end of the year, and the start of the new. It all its a very spiritual time.

So We here at the Ninja Temple wish you all a very happy *INSERT YOUR CELEBRATION NAME HERE*.

So can i ask everyone to throw a huge party and celebrate. For we need to make a big noise so that Amaterasu comes out of her cave and brings the sun back to the people, so the days can start getting longer, and I can start getting warm.

 

Also. I hope the world does not end as foretold!

Let the Sun God return to the heavens.

Today is the Winter Solstice, The shortest day of the year, and therefore the longest night. It’s also considered in many cultures & historical cultures to be the end of the year, and the start of the new. It all its a very spiritual time.

So We here at the Ninja Temple wish you all a very happy *INSERT YOUR CELEBRATION NAME HERE*.

So can i ask everyone to throw a huge party and celebrate. For we need to make a big noise so that Amaterasu comes out of her cave and brings the sun back to the people, so the days can start getting longer, and I can start getting warm.

May your Fires Burn Bright

Greetings and Salutations

We here at the Ninja Temple would like to take a minute out of our day to wish you all a Happy Beltane.

Some of you would have started your celebrations last night, others will be starting them today, either way we wish you a great celebration, much drinking, much eating, much “Other activities inspired by the gods & goddesses” May your fires burn bright all night.

WARNING! May Contain Nuts.

So I was watching a Documentary style film the other night. It was called “New World Order” and was about a bunch of different well known Conspiracy Nuts, as they campaigned against the “Bilderberg Group” and the “New World Order“. It was an entertainingly funny, and well worth a watch.

There was just one small thing that bothered me about it. A lot of the people featured had a lot of the same major problems with the evil “New world Order

  1. They ignored the majority’s wished and were forcing their own views and values onto everyone.
  2. Anyone disagreeing with the Views of the NWO were rounded up without trial, tortured for confessions.
  3. They were engineering Wars for no reason other than forcing their views on Others.

Now, All the people saying these things, also stated they wanted to be left alone and to live as they wanted in their devout Christian ways.

Now that’s the bit that Annoyed me. Christianity? In the early days I’m pretty sure the history books say :-

  1. They ignored the majority’s wished and were forcing their own views and values onto everyone.
  2. Anyone disagreeing with the Views of the NWO were rounded up without trial, tortured for confessions. And was then burnt as a witch. Witchcraft Trials/ Inquisition
  3. They were engineering Wars for no reason other than forcing their views on Others. Anyone remember the crusades?
  4. They entered foreign countries, murdered all the native religions and forced their own brand of beliefs on the masses against their will.

Yes. Nice Conspiracy Nuts, Your beloved Christianity was the worlds first NWO.