The Geek Zodiac

Cool. Us Geeks finally get our own Zodiac,like the Chinese one, only instead of pigs, goats, dragons we get spy’s, robots, ninjas, pirates.

I was really disappointed I did not get “Year of the Dragon” in the Chinese one, so I had high hopes for this one, until I realised I got “Treasure Hunter”

Treasure Hunter? When there’s Vampires, Ninja’s & Wizards up for grabs? I was most disappointed, until I read the description, and the then foot note at the bottom helped as well, Any sign that includes Han Solo & Indiana Jones can’t be all bad!

 

Reflections on the Rapture

So the weekends over, and we have all survived. Well I assume we have all survived, there has been no news articles on the Zombie Apocalypse, no reports of missing people in their masses. So I can only assume that the End of Days (2011) aka The Rapture (V2) was a no show.

Now I should quickly explain what I am on about for those of you who may have been living in a cave for the last month and be unaware of the Rapture. Although you do raise a new question of why do you have the internet in your cave? anyway The Rapture….

Rapture

Basically some bloke called “Harold Camping” said he had calculated the secret code hidden in the bible, and was 100% the world would end on September 6, 1994.  Some point shortly after then, when the world was still going strong Harold admitted he made a slight mistake and had forgot to carry the one and the correct day of the rapture was May 21st 2011. On this day Jesus would return to earth, the chosen holy people who followed the laws of Christ would ascent to heaven, and the long forgotten dead would rise forth from their unhallowed graves and the end of days would be upon us.

My biggest problem with any of these beliefs is one of simple logistics. The holy get to go to heaven. Who is holy? If you follow the laws of Christ will you be allowed in? Which branch of Christianity do you need to follow since they are all different? What about the rules, once you could not eat fish on a Friday, but that rule was revoked, but did God approve the revoking? If you have to follow every rule there ever was to be 100% valid, then I do not see anyone being saved.

Anyway Rapture came and went without anyone noticing. So was it all a miscalculation again (Not everyone can do math) Or is it as some blogs are stating that the chosen were raptured, and the rest of us just have to wait the five months till the world ends? So all we can do is watch this space.

Secret Government Base?

This morning on my way to the Insane Asylum I had to stop off at a small garage (Gas Station) to fill up my vehicle with diesel. Nothing special about that, It happens at least once a week, or more commonly twice a week due to my superstition about filling up my tank in one go (Which I may explain at some point in the future). Now the reason I’m blogging about a common, normal everyday activity is  the following.

I pulled into the strangely busy Garage forecourt, which normally has one or maybe two cars parked to either fill-up or use the shop. I once saw it on a particularly busy day with four cars there. This morning, including my car there was one vehicle at every pump (So eight in total) with a further nine parked at different parts of the small forecourt. Seventeen Cars, SEVENTEEN!

Now as I filled up, I was the only person in sight. All the cars were empty, and no one was walking about. When I walked into the Garage itself (which I should point out is a small room, with a counter, and a small office/toilet at the back which you could fit maybe three people in if they were “very familiar”) One man walked out. There was also one person behind the counter serving, So with myself three people to account for seventeen cars? SEVENTEEN? where were the other fourteen people? there was no way they could all be in the back room. In fact the only way they could be in the building at all would be if there was some sort of secret government facility underneath the garage.

Well I guess, Zombie outbreak?, Mass murderess who kidnap customers and throw them into an empty underground fuel store “It puts the lotion on its skin, else it gets the hose again!“?, Alien abduction? are also possibilities, but I tell you this now, I for one will not be using that particular garage again unarmed.

What Skill/Talent is most useful during the Zombie Apocalypse?

Are you Ready for the Zombie ApocalypseZombies are a popular cultural theme at the moment, with a silly amount of computer games from all genres (Western, Army, Etc) having “Zombie SubGames”. And there’s the current hit show “The Walking Dead” not to mention the resurgence in Zombie Films.

They also hold a special place in the hearts of Geeks all over the world, and we here at the Insane Asylum are no different. In fact they have been a constant topic of conversation for years here, due to one of the Inmates having both a fascination and a fear of them.  As such we often discuss methods of surviving the inevitable Apocalypse, and what they did wrong in different shows/films.

As such I have a carefully worked out survival plan in the back of my mind that is constantly being updated and added too. I also keep a mental subconscious tracking of where the nearest place to collect weapons is depending on where I am at the time of the outbreak.  Now this random thinking while driving, working, etc. has recently brought up a question in my mind. “What is the most valuable Skill/Talent you need someone in your group to have to increase your chances of survival?” I have asked several people (See I do my research) and they all got the answer wrong, but in fairness I will post some of their suggestions.

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Vampire Eye

I am suffering from the medical condition “Vampire Eyes” again. “What is Vampire Eye?“you ask, Well you should read some of the earlier blog posts where its mentioned in detail.  OK! I’m nice, I’ll  give a quick re-cap for the newer readers.

VAMPIRE EYES:

A weird eye infection that causes the eye infected to glow red, be extremely sensitive to sunlight, spend all day trying to close, and all night trying to open.

So if you’re wondering where I have been recently, I’m hiding in the dark avoiding all sources of light, like for example monitors.

Don’t go out tonight, It’s bound to take your life. There’s a bad moon on the rise.

Last night I did something I regret, now I am not going to go into the details as to why I did what I did since the reasons are slightly questionable on the legal front.  I will only say in my defence I did it to be Helpful and nice to someone else.

What was it I did?” I hear you ask……………………

I hear you ask……………………

I can wait all day!……………..

R: ::mutter:: “What was it you did? Happy Now

I watched the film “Twilight – New Moon”.

I have not read the books, So I did not know what the big hype was about. I had seen the first film since I am a fan of the Vampire genre, and did not realise its a teen angst emo mopey pile of depression.

And I have to say, the second film was even worse. I kid you not, after the two hours I was happily considering hanging myself to make the depression go away.

Seriously. at one point they just had the mopey girl sitting in a chair moping as they put month names up on screen to show how long she could keep a good mope up for. And it was infections all the other characters caught it.

At one point they stopped the teen emo angst for an action scene (about two minutes long out of the two hour film) This they then ruined by doing it to a mopey soundtrack.

At one point a friend who had read the books asked on  IM  what part of the film I was up to, and got the following plot description “The annoying mopey werewolf just told the annoying mopey vampire that the annoying mopey girls dad was organising a funeral”  I think that sums up the whole film nicely.

The film needs a health warning at the start.

WARNING: If you suffer from depression do not watch this film as it contains scenes of a depressing nature which could cause suicide.

GN