There is a website which will go through your old tweets and turn them into poetry (different types of poems) So for a laugh I pointed it at my Twitter stream, and this is the masterpiece it gave me..

Be needed
by Wayne Owens
Like it was somehow my fault
I try my best to be helpful 🙂
That’s a compliment or an Insult.
Course. You can not be too careful.


You say the nicest things.
And claim it reminded me of her 🙂
The Instruction Writers feelings.
Gone, or what is left to do either.


Dont think like that… be positive
Are nuts. But not that nuts.
Does not sound very productive.
Hummmmm… Doughnuts…
Safe. I’ve seen your wife drive


Get your own poetweet here

100 Years – Least We Forget

Each year, on 11 November, the country falls silent to commemorate our war dead. This ritual, and the ceremonies and symbols that accompany it, have become part of national life.

Remembrance started long before the guns of the Western Front fell silent with people marking the loss or absence of loved ones away at war. 100 years later, the personal and political resonances of remembrance still stir strong emotions.


remembranceadIn Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

John McCrae (1872 – 1918)

One More than the Queen of England – Revisited

Last week I was annoying my mother while visiting my parents, and she threatened me :-

Mother: “Just remember your birthday is coming up!”

Me: “Yup, next Saturday!”

Mother: “Yes, Sunday”

Me: “Sat-ur-day!”

Mother: “No, Sunday, Saturday is the 1st”

Me: “Yes, the 1st, Saturday, my birthday”

Mother: “But your birthday is the 2nd”

Me: “1st!!

Mother: “Are you sure? I’m positive it’s the 2nd”

Me: “It’s the 1st as it has always been”

Mother: “Really?. what does it say on your birth certificate?”

Me: “the 1st!!!”

Mother: “that does not sound right, Why do I think it’s the 2nd??”

The conversation then went into the area of, “When was I actually born” which reminded me of an old post where I explained my theory I should get a 3 day birthday.


From the vault “One More than the Queen of England

Weird post title right? What I am referring to is birthdays, The Queen of England has two birthdays a year, Myself I have Three. So if you will sit down comfortably dear Reader, I’ll explain, mostly because its become a FAQ.

A few years ago a friend offered to do one of those astronomical charts for me, One of the larger complicated ones that show your personality, and long term fortune, etc. So I gave my friend the details I had, Date of Birth, and Location of Birth. Both of which are required for accuracy. I was then informed that if i wished a more accurate chart then they would need my time of birth, because when it comes to stars that take a millennium for the light to reach us, knowing what minute you were born makes all the difference. So I asked my parents for the time of my birth.

I think I’ll jump ahead here to the conversation with my friend later, for pure comedy affect.

F=Friend, M=Me

F:So, you got the time of your birth?

M: Yes, Nov 1st

F:no the TIME? if you don’t know the exact time you can narrow it down to morning, afternoon, evening, night. it will still help with accuracy

M:Nov 1st

F:No, can they narrow it down a bit?

M:They did, they narrowed it down to Nov 1st. Apparently no one made a not of when i was born, and they latter could not work out if it was Oct 31st, Nov 1st, Nov 2nd. so the narrowed it down to the middle one, Nov 1st

F:You just can’t do anything normal can you? you even managed to mess up and complicate getting born!

It turns out that it was a very long and painful labor, and I was a home birth (a uncommon occurrence at the time). Also the Midwife was not that good, and forgot to fill in the forms at the time. She also banged my head repeatedly against the bed, but thats a different story. So basically everyone was tired, exhausted, and under belief that the midwife did her job. It was only later when it came time to register my birth they realised they were unsure of the date. My father, Mother & Nian (Grandmother) all believed different days.

They settled on the middle day of the range, since it was central and my mothers vote (well she did have the pain so its only fair). Since then a few people have stated I’m more suited to a Halloween birth than a All Saints Day birth.  The upshot is that since I was born on one of three possible days, I think to play safe I should celebrate my birthday over the full three day period. Its the only way I can be sure I have got the right day.


This is not a real post, I just wanted a place where I could point people at these lyrics!


Words and tune by John Owen (1836-1915)

Holl drigolion bro a bryniau
Dewch i wrando hyn o eiriau
Cewch chi hanes rhyw hen fochyn
A fu farw yn dra sydyn


O mor drwm yr ydym ni
O mor drwm yr ydym ni
Y mae yma alar calon
Ar ôl claddu’r mochyn du.

Gweithiwyd iddo arch o dderi
Wedi’i drimio a’i berarogli
Ac fe dorrwyd bedd ardderchog
I’r hen fochyn yng Ngharngoediog

Y Parchedig Wil Twm Griffi
Ydoedd yno yn pregethu
Pawb yn sobor anghyffredin
Oll i ddangos parch i’r mochyn

Bellach rydwyf yn terfynu
Nawr gan roddi heibio ganu
Cymrwch ofal bawb rhag dilyn
Siampl ddrwg wrth fwydo mochyn


All you (inhabitants) of the community and hills
Come and listen to these words
You’ll get the story of an old pig
Who died very suddenly.


Oh how heavy (hearted) we are
Oh how heavy (hearted) we are
There is heartfelt grief here
After burying the black pig.

A coffin of oak was worked for him
Trimmed and scented
And a wonderful grave was dug
For the old pig in Carngoediog.

It was the Reverend Wil Twm Griffi
Who was there to preach
Everyone was terribly solemn
All to show respect for the pig.

Now I am finishing
And stopping the singing
Take care lest you follow
A bad example as you feed a pig.

One for sorrow, Two for Joy



One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret never to be told.


OK, So we are all aware of the Magpie fortune telling poem. “What do you mean you have no idea what I am on about?” Right for a primer go read this “Greetings Mr Magpie. One for Sorrow…” I will wait here for you while you do.

***Time Passes***

OK, So we are NOW all aware of the Magpie fortune telling poem, But I have some Questions relating to it.

1) How do you count the Magpies?

You see a magpie by itself and you go “ONE”, Then you see another one and go “TWO” but? Is it two or is it two single Magpies?

2) Is there a set area in which to count the Magpies?

If there are two or more Magpies standing next to each other then the counting is obvious. But what if there are say two Magpies together and a third three foot away, does it count?

3) Do you count based on the Photograph affect?

If when you saw the first Magpie and in your mind took a photograph do you count all the Magpie’s you can see at that minute. So if a second or two later you see another Magpie does that count to the total score or do you start recounting.

4) Do you count based on a time frame?

So after the first Magpie is spotted does a timer start, and you count every Magpie you see in the follow few seconds? Does it go by blinking?

Hopefully its blinking, because I can go a long time between blinks. This would allow me to cheat and not blink until I hit a score that is beneficial to me.

5) How does multiples count?

OK. so you have your counting rules fixed in your mind. And you see a Magpie (ONE) then a short while again you see another Magpie (ONE) now, which of the three options does this count as?

a) Fortune is confirming that you are in for Sorrow

b) You are going to have two lots of sorrow

c) Your sorrow is now going to be twice as bad


This may seem a bit of an odd thing to contemplate, but its for a very very good reason. “Three for a Girl” If we can get the rules agreed on (go for blinking) I could fix it so I always get to count Magpies as being three, then if I can get two lots of three Then according to (5b) I would get a threesome, more than two lots of three and we are in for an orgy!