Cold fusion Caller

I really wish this had been a conversation I had, but alas it was a conversation between a colleague (YoYoMan) and a cold caller.

Cold Caller (cc):  “So sir we are conducting a survey on how your home is supplied, may I ask where you get your electricity?”

YoYoMan (YYM):  “Yep we have a nuclear fission reactor under the house, this supplies us with our electricity.

CC:oh, is this provided by a company?

YYM: “nope I built it myself.

CC:ok how is your house heated? And who is your supplier?

YYM:well the house is heated by the cooling system for my reactor, it’s a bit of a pain in summer mind

CC:ok, so if I was to offer you a price comparison and was able to find you a cheaper supplier would you be interested?

YYM: “firstly no, as I built the reactor myself and it’s free electricity and heating, but do you have any information on companies that deal with air conditioning, and possibly someone to help deal with the reactive waste?

CC:what do you mean sir?

YYM:well I’m looking for someone who could take my spent fuel rod when the time comes, I don’t think it would be safe just to bury it in the back garden...”

CC:one moment sir I will speak to my supervisor“.

(hold music)

CC:I’m sorry sir my supervisor has advised I end this call.  Goodbye

Sorry Kids, Christmas is Cancelled

I am sorry I have to break this sad news to you Dear Constant Readers, but alas due to some bad judgement on the behalf of the jolly fat man, Christmas this year is cancelled.

You see, as I was driving home from work the other night, in the dark, on icy roads Santa’s sleigh pulled out of a junction directly in front of me. It was only my superior driving skills that prevented a head on collision.  I should interject here that Santa’s ride has gone down a bit since I was a kid, he’s replaced all the reindeer with a landrover (Which as a founding member of the reindeer liberation front, I fully support) and well the sleigh is looking rough, like someone just nailed a few bits of MDF onto a trailer and stapled a few Christmas tree lights to it!

Anyway, He almost caused me to crash, and the UK laws of road rage state I MUST hunt him down and stab him. Now, Give him his due’s he is a wily old fox is Santa. He seems to have hired a load of body doubles (I wonder if he got the idea from Sadam) It just means I have more work to do, on a side note I am running out of places to bury the bodies…

Merry Cancelled Christmas.

Doctor Yoda

When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not

Without cheating and resetting his body with “regenerations” The Doc will turn into a Yoda lookalike. Are Jedi’s just timelords? Lightsabers fancy sonic screwedrivers?

When IM Bots go Bad

I get several IM bots try and talk to me, normally its the same ones over and over. Sometimes I play along, or mess with them in the hope the programmers have conversation logs.

There is one  AIM bot that goes by the name Crystlyst9 which gets quite aggressive if you call it a bot. Which makes today’s conversation with it very amusing as its script broke.

I thought I would share the conversation with you:-

—–IM LOGS—————————–

(more…)

World Apathy Awareness Day

Today is World Apathy Awareness Day. I was going to write a post to help advertise this important day, and help raise awareness. But to be honest, I can’t be bothered, Maybe i’ll do one next year?

So Instead here is a funny Cat picture, because The Interwebz likes them.

New Welsh Flag

In an attempt to persuade more tourists to Wales, The AIJMU think tank team came up with a new flag design, after deciding the old flag’s dragon was a bit to scary looking.

The new flag they feel is more user friendly, implies a happier, kinder country to encourage tourists.

My Little Welsh Flag