MEME – 7 interesting/uninteresting facts you may or may not know about me

I got hit with one of those FaceBook meme’s (Thanks @MaguirePete) and as I was posting the status update, it occurred to me that it would be a great excuse for a blog post.

But wait! Not only am I copying what I posted on Facebook here, for a limited time only I am also giving small explanations to my answers, Yes Dear Constant Reader, its the New and Improved set of answers I gave on Facebook, for no extra cost*1.

7 interesting/uninteresting facts you may or may not know about me.

1) I am Mentioned or Acknowledged in several Education books around the world.

For example: I have been acknowledged for my assistance in a book on Information Technology in the e-learning environment of Library services, I am mentioned along with my “Insanity Test” in a few Psychology Textbooks, and books on using comedy in dealing with mental illness. And My RLF stuff has been in several children’s books on Christmas, and in a couple of Brazilian schoolbooks on learning English (cos I iz do writ gud!) Not to mention the Papers and Dissertations I get credited in, Not bad for a waster really.

2) I was asked to join Mensa when I was 15

Not much to say about this. I sat one of their tests out of curiosity. Then spent a year getting multiple letters from them asking me to join. I never did join because they seemed too needy.

3) As a teenager I took part in an European wide NATO WarGames

I spent several years in the Army Cadet Force (They let me play with guns) and one year our weekend camp coincided with a large NATO exercise covering most of Europe. And as a treat, some of us were allowed to join in, albeit in a small way. I therefore got to spend an evening manning the Guard Post at the main entrance to a Military Camp, a job I would like to say I fulfilled to the best of my ability. I would like to say that, but at one point 4 soldiers approached the gate slightly drunk. I requested their ID because “War Games = High Security” and the back 2 pointed at the others and said “Its OK they are with us”, so I asked for their IDs only to have the 1st 2 say “Its OK they are with us”. I should have refused them entry, called for an real soldier and followed orders. But come on, I was a young teenager, they were BIG drunk soldiers. I did the only thing a kid in my position could do, I allowed them to bribe me and my fellow cadet guard with beer in exchange for looking the other way. So I took part in NATO WarGames, but I was bribed into neglecting my duty and breaching security.  GO ME!!!

4) I once failed a Computerised Personality Test at a Job Interview, it came back with “ERROR:”

I went for a job interview many years ago, and after the normal Greetings, Interview Questions, Q&A that you normally get at Job Interviews, I was asked did I mind sitting a Personality Test. I believe they were checking candidates had the right personality for the role. So I sat in a room, in front of a computer that asked me questions. I should point out there were no right or wrong answers, it was a how do you feel about X test. SO I sat it, said my goodbyes and left.  I got a call from them later that day asking could I come back in later in the week (Which I figured was good, a second Interview). When I returned I was informed that they wanted me to resit the personality test because of reasons they would not tell me until after. I figured it must have said I was not fully suitable for role, but because I interviewed good they were giving me second go. SO I resat test. And as I was leaving I asked “so why the retest?” which is when I was informed that my first test failed and basically responded “Error:” Yup, in a test with no wrong answers my result was ERROR.

5) I am not 100% sure of which day I was born on.

I have explained this in the past in the post One More than the Queen of England. but because TLDR;

It turns out that it was a very long and painful labor, and I was a home birth (a uncommon occurrence at the time). Also the Midwife was not that good, and forgot to fill in the forms at the time. She also banged my head repeatedly against the bed, but thats a different story. So basically everyone was tired, exhausted, and under belief that the midwife did her job. It was only later when it came time to register my birth they realised they were unsure of the date. My father, Mother & Nian (Grandmother) all believed different days.

6) I have won shooting competitions.

Does this need any further explanation? During my time in the Cadets I took part in, and won several shooting competitions. 

7) I have been invited onto TV Shows & Documentaries as an “Expert Guest” (But I decline because I’m shy)

I get a fair bit of emails from TV or Film Companies saying they are filming a Show/Documentary  on X and would I like to be on the panel of experts. I occasionally get similar ones from Radio or Magazine people as well. I can only assume my details are on some globally shared list? I mostly get them for things Geek, Goth or Vampire related. I keep all the requests in a folder, which I look at every now and then and think “oh the infamy I could have if I was not such a shy, retiring sort”

  1. Hidden costs may be added at time of shipping.

The Gay Test

There has been a lot of online discussion about the possible Laws/Bills in America allowing those who object to refuse to serve same-sex couples, and how it is a major step backwards in the evolution of America. I am not going to discuss it here because it has been well covered in other places.

Last night on Facebook someone asked the question :-

I want to know.. If 2 people of the same gender go to a hotel in one of these states that are talking about allowing banning gay people, would they have to somehow prove that they are straight to stay there?

This led to a long comment conversation on possible ways, and the flaws with them. These ways included such test as :-

The Monty Python Test.

What organisation uses a rainbow as its symbol? The LGBT Movement. What is colourful like a rainbow? A peacock.  So, if we weight a person and they way the same as a Peacock, then we know they are gay.

The Weird Pervert Test.

Hotel funded inspection prostitutes. Trained to sleep with customers and evaluate how much they enjoyed it.

 The first test got the response of “WTF???” I am assuming there were none python people in the conversion.  and the second got responses of “ewwwww!!!!!”

Which led to a more sensible conversation, and testing amongst the people involved. I should point out there were Engineers & Scientists involved in this discussion, and after many formulas, maths, & good old-fashioned trial and error we actually came up with a test that was accurate 100% of the time.

I am going to describe the process here, but we are patent-pending the test with the view to selling them and making a small fortune. After all we have the only fool-proof test in existence.

The Science Test.

This test is based on the fact that saliva undergoes a chemical change when the person is sexual aroused. Which suggests a link between sexual preference and the cells of the tongue.

  1. Take a piece of Litmus paper (The colour changing properties of it come in handy).
  2. SECRET STEP. I am leaving this step out so no one else steals our idea. But it is a basic household ingredient applied to the Litmus paper.
  3. Get the Test subject to drink an acidic drink, (any soda will do). This helps looses the cells on the tongue and remove any blocking material.
  4. Get the Test subject to lick the Litmus paper (You get better results if they can keep some liquid in their mouth when making contact with the paper)
  5. Check Paper. If it is wet/damp then the Test subject is normal, if the paper remains dry then they are Abnormal and you are safe to refuse to serve them.

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