This post should be read to the theme tune of Road Rage by Catatonia. 
You could be taking it easy on yourself
Road Rage by Catatonia
You should be making it easy on yourself
Cause you and I know,
It’s all over the front page, you give me road rage
Some mornings I really wish they hurry up inventing the personal teleporter.
So once again the temperature is stupidly hot, with the possibility of outbreaks of “Dave Syndrome“, and its time for the long commute over the welsh mountains to work. Now having to drive a long distance in this heat is not a nice experience in a car where the only a/c is opening the windows. So I did not start off with high expectations, and what little I had did not last long.
Irritant 1) Animals
I do not know if its the heat affecting them, or if there’s some big conspiracy in the animal kingdom to get me for some past upset, whatever the reason they are not behaving as you would expect them to. I first noticed this “oddness” when leaving my drive and as I pulled onto the road there was a huge fat pigeon standing in the middle of the road blocking it. So being Nice, I slowly drove up to it so it would fly away. Nothing! It just stood there watching me, as I had to maneuver around it since I did not want my car splattered with dead animal (It took ages to clean off the badger entrails). After the pigeon there was a rabbit, followed a bit later by a squirrel, then a baby rabbit, another squirrel, and finally a cat.
Irritant 2) Cars
Whats going on? Today there are something like one billion extra cars on the road (Give or take a Car). They are everywhere, Why? If it was Friday I’d say there were all taking the day off work to go away for the weekend to enjoy the heat. Yet here they all are! Junctions I normally just slow down for and get to turn instantly, I’m now stuck parked at for several minutes waiting for a gap in the traffic so i can pull into, Roundabouts are a similar problem. There’s also the knock on affect of slowness, since the roads are so full.
Irritant 3) Diversions.. (AKA Pointless Diversions)
This is also an irritant over stupidness and pointless red tape. On my route to work there is a junction I have to take. Its a simple T-Junction with a small filer road to make it easier for traffic to flow onto the road speeding it all up. Now they are currently doing some road repairs on this filter road, leaving the main junction clear. Yet, and this really is a good example of red tape. The filter road is closed, With loads of “Road Closed” signs, and “Diversion” signs. Now the turning for the junction is about 10 yards from the turning onto the filter road. This means the sign saying there is a diversion is next to the sign saying “<=- Diversion“. Then when you turn you have another 10 yards before you hit the sign saying “Diversion Ends“. The three of them are so close together you can jump from one to the other to the first in a small triangle. WHY?
Irritant 4) Road Works
Why? For the love of the Gods, Why? as soon as we get hot weather does every builder on the planet start doing work on roads, or on building close to roads causing traffic lights, or the road to be restricted to one lane? Is there a Memo that goes out? are they in the pay of petrol stations to waste our petrol by making us constantly stuck waiting to pass?
Irritant 5) JCB Diggers
OK. I don’t really have to say anything about these, it says it all, They are Big Yellow travel at 5 miles an hour and make overtaking on country lanes impossible, and tend to only drive during rush hour commute times…
So on another day where they claim “Its the hottest recorded day!” (I’m sure they only have records going back one week), I’m stuck inside a metal box slowly cooking on my long commute to work, All I need is some idiot to cut me up, or start tailgateing me and we’re having a bit of road rage!!
