Wayne was born at a very early age and has not died yet, which is something he considers to be a bit of an achievement.

He joined Freemasonry in 2006, went into the chair for the first time in 2011, and started giving talks across several Provinces in early 2017, before joining NWAMS as a speaker in 2021.

He Is an accidentally established Masonic author and has had articles published in several Masonic and non-Masonic periodicals.

by Wayne Pendragon Owens

I am an Author, Freemason, Rosicrucian, Blood Biker, Widows Son, CodeNinja, Spod, Hacker, Son, Uncle, Brother, Man, AN INDIVIDUAL!

29th October 2015

The Rise of the Hammer Gnome

I was minding my own business this morning in work when someone brought in a delivery for me.  I was not expecting anything, nor I had not ordered anything, so you could imagine my confusion.

Me: “Why have I got a box? I never have a box!”
Everyone Else: “Why don’t we have a box?”
Me: “But. Why do I have a Box?”

Wait?

What?

“Live Gnome Inside”? WTF? Have I fallen into an episode of the twilight zone or something. Live Gnome Inside? what is gong on?

“LET ME OUT!!”

what was that? anyone else hear that?

“GET ME OUT OF HERE”

What? is anyone one else hearing voices? Ok, why is there a live Gnome in a Box? Why do I have a Box? Why do I have a Live Gnome?

“OI YOU. I SEE YOU. GET ME OUT OF HERE!

“ABOUT TIME YOU LET ME OUT!”

Who are you? What is going on? Am I finally going Insane?

“I’M THE HAMMER GNOME”

you say that like it means something?

“YOU NEVER HEARD OF THE BATTLE GNOMES?”

No, Never. Who are you? What are you? What is going on? Where did you come from? And why do you talk in shouting? why do you talk?

“I’M A BATTLE GNOME. WE HAVE MANLY VOICES!”

Right, that explains everything. *starts dialing the men in the white coats*

“I HEAR YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING TROUBLE FROM SOME EVILGOTHGNOME. WELL IF YOU CHECK THE CARD IN THE BOX, @MAGUIREPETE AND HIS FAMILY SENT ME TO SORT OUT THAT GNOME WITH MY BIG HAMMER. WHERE BE HE?”

Well that explains everything. The @EvilGothGnome is at home, I will take you to see him later. Remind me to thank @MaguirePete and to check into how much it costs to get psychological testing.

I sense interesting times ahead.