Tags: Work

Internet? We don’t need no Stinking Internet!

Apr11
by CodeNinja
Published on: April 11, 2013
Categories: Technology, Work
Tags: ,
Comments: No Comments
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So We have a slight issue here at the Insane Asylum. The ADSL Line that out VoIP server is on can not keep a sync, The second it connects up it then disconnects. It has been doing this for two days now.

This is bad enough, but not something we could not deal with since we have two internet lines coming into the building. But Our main line is behaving just a “Tad” better. It can stay connected for a whole FOUR minutes before dropping the connection.

Hey, The Internet in four minute segments is not that bad right? How about the speed of that line has dropped due to the constant disconnects and is now syncing up at a WHOPPING 0.5Meg.

This is no where near enough to supply the amount of people here trying to work. So even thought we were able to do a bit of creative patching and got an old style phone working (One phone for all the numbers coming into the building) We do not have enough of a connection to the Net for us to do any work even if you were lucky enough to get us on the phone.

There is just one question remaining.

Who has the board games?

CN

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Conversations with Support – Updated

Feb13
by GothNinja
Published on: February 13, 2013
Categories: Office
Tags: ,
Comments: No Comments
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This morning as I was in the Support Office attempting to dismantle a multimeter using a Swiss Army Key (Long story and totally Irrelevant here) the following conversation happened between OfficeBitch1 and myself. I should point out OfficeBitch1 (A name given him by TheGovernor)  used to be the main Support Guy of the Asylum many years ago, and has recently come back one day a week to get himself back into IT.

OB1: “I cant log in!! Has my password been changed?”

OB1: “Stupid keyboard is broke! the m key doesn’t work, no wonder I cant log into my account”

GN: “The m key is broke? do the other keys work ok?”

OB1: “Yes, everything is fine bar shift-m”

GN: “Hang on, lower case m works? just shift-m doesn’t?”

OB1: “yes. m works by itself, it doesn’t with shift”

GN: “Why don’t you use caps lock then?”

OB1: *Typing* “arrgh That doesn’t work either!!!”

GN: “Did you turn caps lock off after you typed the M?”

OB1: *mutters* *types*

In his defence, the issue was that he was using the wrong email address as his username, and he had his laptop set to numlock so the m was in fact a 0. Even still I feel for anyone phoning the Asylum today for support.

Update:

I was right in worrying. I just had a simple “add this text to dns record” support ticket escalated to 3rd line Server support on the one day of the week when we have double the normal amount of support guys in. Apparently Cut & Paste is too advanced for 1st & 2nd Line Support.

 


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Insane-Cam

Sep20
by GothNinja
Published on: September 20, 2012
Categories: Office, PhotoBlog
Tags: , , ,
Comments: No Comments
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TheGovernor has recently Implemented a bizarre new security regime here at The Insane Asylum. This basically involved placing a “Hidden Camera” in the Padded Cell of YoYoMan.

Here we spot the lesser spotted YoYoMan in his unnatural habitat.

This may have seemed a Good idea at the beginning. But alas we are not called The Insane Asylum for nothing.

The local Wildlife spot the hidden camera.

Along came Tux and frightened the poor Roo away.

Awwwww
They made friends.

And thats why we can’t have anything NICE!!!!


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Customer Rant

Apr11
by CodeNinja
Published on: April 11, 2012
Categories: Customers
Tags: ,
Comments: 1 Comment
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Because its healthy to vent the spleen!

Now I’m sure I have Blogged about this customer before, but for the life of me I can not remember what name I gave him (Maybe I should keep track of the names I assign people). Anyway today we shall refer to the Customer/Company/Person as Gillid*

Heres an extract of a Phone conversation that just happened.

Gillid: “Hi, I was told that since TheArchivist* no longer works there you may be able to help me!“

CN: “I may be able to, whats your problem?”

Gillid: “I have a website where I upload loads of data to it every few months, and our CMS that RedBack* made does not work so TheArchivist normally does it for me!“

CN: “No problem. If you email me the data, and let me know what is what in it, I’m sure I can sort it out for you but getting your CMS fixed may be a good idea. Now I’m not sure what you’ve been charged for the data entry in past…….”

Gillid: “Oh TheArchivist did it all for free!“

CN: “Well we won’t be doing that, you’ll have to pay for our time doing it“

Gillid: “OH. can you give me TheArchivist’s personal email address or phone number?“

CN: “No. I’m not giving out peoples personal info!“

Gillid: “ok. I’ll upload it myself!!!!” *Hangs UP*

Thirty minutes after that phone conversation the Support Department get a ticket from Gillid asking for TheArchivists contact details. They guy is seriously trying to get hold of one of our x-employees in the hope that the guy will do work for him for free while no longer being associated to the Asylum?

And after all that If it was just a quick data import into a mySQL DB I’d have probably only charged him £15 or some nominal price.

 As normal Names changed to protect me from lawsuits… err I mean to protect the innocent.

 

CN

1 Comment

People are Stupid.

Feb09
by CodeNinja
Published on: February 9, 2012
Categories: Customers
Tags: ,
Comments: 1 Comment
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Well technically I guess that should be “Customers are Stupid“. You do not believe me? Well here are two examples that happened this week.

Example 1:

I was being nice and answered the phone to help out the support guys, and the conversation went a bit like this :-

CN: “Good afternoon How may I help you?“

Customer: “Hi, Yes. I can’t send or receive any emails. its broke!“

CN: “OK. What error are you actually getting?“

Customer: “can not connect to server“

CN: “Ok, are you actually on the Internet?“

Customer: “YES. I am on the Internet doing things, the Internet is fine, it’s just my emails that is broken“

Customer: *noise of many people talking in background* ‘Yes. I’m on the phone to them now. Yes I have email issues. Ok I’ll pass them over to you when my mails sorted‘

CN: “You got other issues there?“

Customer: “Yes, they say we have lost the Internet. So Whats the issue with my emails?“

She honestly thought the fact they were not connected to the Internet had no connection with her problems in sending and receiving emails.

Example 2:

Now this was a ticket the Systems department had. A Customer had not been receiving any email conformation from their website for the last 3 months. And they knew from the orders that they should have had a fair few.

We had been looking into it on and off for a while since a grep of the site showed that it was not set up to actually send emails to the address they insisted received them.

So after many attempts I finally got them to check the header of an old email and give me the actual email address that the emails go to before being forwarded or downloaded to the end account.

So I have the real email address and decide to test it simply to start with. So I log into the account, and there sat in the INBOX are 50+ unread emails from the website.

Turns out they had forgotten to actually download the emails for the last few months.

Seriously, people get an IQ=IQ-100 as soon as they decide to contact our support department.

 

CN

1 Comment

Ghost in the Asylum

Sep01
by GothNinja
Published on: September 1, 2011
Categories: Ghosts, Work
Tags: , ,
Comments: 3 Comments
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The Asylum may or may not be haunted.

This morning I was stood in the Support Office talking to ItWerWobbie* when I heard someone walk up the stairs to our floor and saw them walk past the door to the support office as they passed down the hall.

Shortly after @DemonPengu* ascended the stairs, and came to the open door.

 

IWW: “Who was that?“

GN: “I dont know. Hey @Demonpengu who came up before you?“

DP: “huh? no one?”

GN: *quickly checks upstairs rooms to see who came up* “Err there’s no one up here?“

IWW: “you heard/saw it as well right?“

So two of us heard someone ascend the stairs and walk past, we both saw from the corner of our eyes a person walk past the door to the room towards the front of the building where there are NO exits. Yet there was no body there!

Explain away!**

(*) We never use real names here on the Three Ninjas, for security, peoples safety against stalkers, and to prevent any nasty legal action if we accidentally mention little know facts like ItWerWobbies fetish for amputee midgets.

(**) Seriously. Any explanations welcome, comment away if you can explain what may or may not have happened.


3 Comments

Security Madness from Buzby

Jul01
by CodeNinja
Published on: July 1, 2011
Categories: Work
Tags: , ,
Comments: 1 Comment
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The guys over at Buzby have been busy again. This time they have been considering “SECURITY” which I think is a very Important & Valid thing to be considering (Especially these days) Only I think they need to do some more work on it.

For example, they are concerned about sending customer data back and too to their CP’s. Now this I can understand, you would not like the idea of your personal details being handed about freely over the net. So this is how the details are now securely transferred.

I as a CP upload some data over SFTP to their sever, their systems runs on the data and does what I request (All nice and secure so far). I then have access (again by SFTP) to an output file telling me which records worked, if there was any errors, etc.

Only now I get an email to tell me if there is any problem with any records. But what if my email is compromised? its not very secure so they put the text they are sending me in a file, ZIP it up with a password protection and email me the password protected file. And then at the same time send me another email with the password to the file in it. So if my email had been compromised they person would be unable to access the file since the password was in a separate email.

In theory sending the data in locked files is good, but it should be with an agreed on password so the password does not get emailed. Or maybe a PGP encrypted email? Or I could just collect the file over SFTP which was set up wit certificates, encryption, blah, blah, blah.

I’m sorry, I’m all for trying to improve security (I need to hurt one of the drones at the Insane Asylum and point out his passwords are retarded) But emailing the password to a secure zip file to the same email address, at the same time? Madness.

Also, they are not very long passwords, I’m sure a zip password recovery program would access it in no time at all. (I may test that and tell them how easy it was to access the file without the password)

I do give them  ★★ (2 Stars) for at least considering security!

CN

1 Comment

A Picture Paints a Thousand Words

Apr20
by CodeNinja
Published on: April 20, 2011
Categories: Office, Work
Tags:
Comments: 1 Comment
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CN

1 Comment

The Swiss Army CodeNinja

Mar31
by CodeNinja
Published on: March 31, 2011
Categories: Work
Tags: ,
Comments: 4 Comments
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Its been a while since I have vented my spleen on here about the things that go on at the Asylum.  So I thought I would take some time out and have a little “Vent“.

I was originally hired at the Asylum as a Developer, and advanced my way up the ranks to Head of Development, then after an asylum wide reshuffle I relocated to the Systems Department as a Linux Sys.Admin.

Now I occasionally get thrown small development jobs are are complicated or in a rush, which is fine as we all like to help each other out. Only now its getting a bit silly.

I’m thrown Dev job after Dev job and told theres more coming in (am I a dev again?)

Then “Oh can you just make some android apps for layar?” (I know nothing about phone dev, and not done any programing in many many years)

Followed by “I’ve ordered a Mac Mini, so you can start on making some layar based iPhone apps now” (Ignoring the facts 1)I’ve never used a mac 2)I know nothing about using mac’s or mac software & 3) I know nothing about programing iPhones)

Now I’ve been asked to take part in a conference call to deal with a customer who’s website is bringing down the windows server its hosted on to discuss best ways of resolving these issues. (err I barley use Windows as a user unless I really have to, and that’s normal windows, I know nothing about Windows servers. I think our Windows Server guy would have been a better choice for this call)

And that’s just this week.

So here I am, your friendly neighbourhood Swiss-army CodeNinja

 

CN

4 Comments

Busby and the Tape of RED

Jan14
by CodeNinja
Published on: January 14, 2011
Categories: Work
Tags: , ,
Comments: No Comments
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I know “Red Tape” is often required, and there are sometimes valid reasons for having it, but the people with the tape should have the sense to spot when they fall into a recursive loop and have the ability to produce “The Scissors of Doom” to sort things out. Let me give you an example, and its a real life example. I know because it happened to me, earlier this week.

Phone Conversation over BETA testing some new Busby servers/systems

Busby: “Can you confirm you can connect to the server fine?“

CN: “Yes, I confirm that, and i sent in signed form saying so.“

Busby: “Good. Can you confirm you downloaded our test file ok?“

CN: “What’s the file name, I’ll grab it now. I’ve been using your new systems for other departments, so the server area is full of files.“

Busby: “Our systems team say since you are already using the system there is no test file.“

CN: “ok“

Busby: “So can you confirm you downloaded our test file?“

CN: “But there is no test file?“

Busby: “You need to download our test file to show you can connect OK then we can move on.”

CN: “Talk to you main sys.admin. I tested connection to your server when you first set it up. I helped with the speed tests with the different secure connections, and port ranges. I was one of the first non Busby people using the system.“

Busby: “So can you confirm you downloaded our test file?“

CN: “ARGGHHHHHH!”

CN

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