Tags: Rant

Customer Rant

Apr11
Published on: April 11, 2012
Categories: Customers
Tags: ,
Comments: 1 Comment
 

Because its healthy to vent the spleen!

Now I’m sure I have Blogged about this customer before, but for the life of me I can not remember what name I gave him (Maybe I should keep track of the names I assign people). Anyway today we shall refer to the Customer/Company/Person as Gillid*

Heres an extract of a Phone conversation that just happened.

Gillid: “Hi, I was told that since TheArchivist* no longer works there you may be able to help me!

CN: “I may be able to, whats your problem?”

Gillid: “I have a website where I upload loads of data to it every few months, and our CMS that RedBack* made does not work so TheArchivist normally does it for me!

CN: “No problem. If you email me the data, and let me know what is what in it, I’m sure I can sort it out for you but getting your CMS fixed may be a good idea. Now I’m not sure what you’ve been charged for the data entry in past…….”

Gillid: “Oh TheArchivist did it all for free!

CN: “Well we won’t be doing that, you’ll have to pay for our time doing it

Gillid: “OH. can you give me TheArchivist’s personal email address or phone number?

CN: “No. I’m not giving out peoples personal info!

Gillid: “ok. I’ll upload it myself!!!!” *Hangs UP*

Thirty minutes after that phone conversation the Support Department get a ticket from Gillid asking for TheArchivists contact details. They guy is seriously trying to get hold of one of our x-employees in the hope that the guy will do work for him for free while no longer being associated to the Asylum?

And after all that If it was just a quick data import into a mySQL DB I’d have probably only charged him £15 or some nominal price.

 As normal Names changed to protect me from lawsuits… err I mean to protect the innocent.

 

CN

1 Comment

Bicycles should be Banned!

May11
Published on: May 11, 2011
Categories: Travel
Tags: , ,
Comments: 3 Comments
 

…..On roads during peak travel/commute hours.

 

Now I should point out that in principle I have no problem with people who want to enjoy the fresh air while getting or staying fit and healthy, or those who want to help the environment, or even those who have several mortgages and can no longer pay the exuberant petrol prices.

What I do have problems with are those people who ride push bikes, and tend to be in the middle of the lane making it harder to overtake them, especially if like me your morning commute is down country roads where its hard to overtake due to the number of blind bends. Now I would not mind if they would pull to the side to let you pass, or even stop and let the long tailback pass them. Instead they seem to delight in moving closer to the centre of the road making it even harder to pass, and laughing at all the cars such behind them, with their engines screaming at the indignity of travelling at 3 miles per hour.

I think like tractors, and industrial diggers there should be a core time when they are not allowed on public roads to prevent tailbacks, dangerous driving to try and makeup time, and road rage. I really believe they should be kept off the road during these hours for their own safety. You see, you may be smug sat slowly peddling your bike making me drive at a babies crawling speed, but I’m in a big car, and you know how much damage you and your bike will make to my car as I drive over you? NONE….

Now get off my road you bunch of weirdo hippies!!!!


3 Comments

The Swiss Army CodeNinja

Mar31
Published on: March 31, 2011
Categories: Work
Tags: ,
Comments: 4 Comments
 

Its been a while since I have vented my spleen on here about the things that go on at the Asylum.  So I thought I would take some time out and have a little “Vent“.

I was originally hired at the Asylum as a Developer, and advanced my way up the ranks to Head of Development, then after an asylum wide reshuffle I relocated to the Systems Department as a Linux Sys.Admin.

Now I occasionally get thrown small development jobs are are complicated or in a rush, which is fine as we all like to help each other out. Only now its getting a bit silly.

I’m thrown Dev job after Dev job and told theres more coming in (am I a dev again?)

Then “Oh can you just make some android apps for layar?” (I know nothing about phone dev, and not done any programing in many many years)

Followed by “I’ve ordered a Mac Mini, so you can start on making some layar based iPhone apps now” (Ignoring the facts 1)I’ve never used a mac 2)I know nothing about using mac’s or mac software & 3) I know nothing about programing iPhones)

Now I’ve been asked to take part in a conference call to deal with a customer who’s website is bringing down the windows server its hosted on to discuss best ways of resolving these issues. (err I barley use Windows as a user unless I really have to, and that’s normal windows, I know nothing about Windows servers. I think our Windows Server guy would have been a better choice for this call)

And that’s just this week.

So here I am, your friendly neighbourhood Swiss-army CodeNinja

 

CN

4 Comments

I Love the smell of Estrogen In the Morning!

Mar26
Published on: March 26, 2010
Categories: Office, Twitter
Comments: 1 Comment
 

WOW.

Its all I can say, WOW.

I am experiencing a mixture of 60% Shock and 40% Anger, With a small sprinkling of Homicidal Tendencies on top.

I’d not seen the Governor all day in the Asylum.  I’d heard slight grumblings coming from down the corridor but that was it.  You see one of the Support Drones has not been doing his job fully, and it had been spotted while he was on holiday for a week.  And everyone else had run around sorting it all out (Without anything really being said to the drone.) Hence Grumblings.

Towards the end of the day, The Governor storms into my Cell screaming “Wheres this website!” “I’ve given you a long rain of time for it, I need it now“. Most people would have opened with a hello, or the question asked in a normal voice, not at full rage decibels.

Now, I’ve not worked on a major web project since I left the Development department three years ago, So I’m rusty. I should also point out that the website needing the overhaul was written by someone learning PHP badly at the time. Each page needs about 25 separate files of code to work, and DIV tags are spread over several files. Its a mess, and the work being done must not change the look and feel of site. Oh, and after the site was finished it had a lot of work done to it by another person with limited PHP knowledge. I digress.

So I’m rusty, it’s not an easy site, still it’s not impossible to do. Apart from the fact that I get disturbed a dozen times a day on average to help the Support Drones with problems with the ISP part of the company, or The Windows server admin wanting help with something, Or the Linux admin is working on something and wants some scripts altering to help him out, or improve something. Or the development department is bust so needs help, Or customers need help, Or the Governor needs stuff looking up or doing.

After each interruption I have lost my place on the project, and cant remember what I was doing, So I have to delete the stuff I was typing and start again. This week for example I managed about four hours of usable work on this Project.

This on top of the slight Depression I feel by not actually having a defined role in the Asylum. The Linux SysAdmin looks after the Linux Servers (Theres a lot of them), ICT Engineer only does ICT work, Developer only does development, Support guys only do support. I do, Support, Development, windows sysadmin, linux sysadmin backup work, internal development, bt development, question answering/help for all other departments, out of hours emergency support when linux sysadmin unreachable, I cover every department when they have staff people on holiday.

And they wonder a web project takes a bit longer to do than a dedicated web developer would take?

I can never finish any project, I start one, get a week working on it if i am very very lucky, then I’m given another project, and another.

I really feel like I will snap at any point. And being screamed at as the opening question of “is the website finished yet” really does not help.

I will admit that after that incident I may have vented slightly. I posted a Tweet on my Private, None Work based, None Linked to Work Twitter account thus :-

Given a web project, constantly pulled off to do other urgent jobs and get screamed at asking why web project not finished.

Only The Governor follows my Twitter account, So I get another ballistic explosion, of how he’s under pressure and how do i think it makes him feel to see a posting like that? err. probably no where near as bad as being the person screamed at for no reason? And I can remove that tweet or get sacked.

So I have decided to separate my personal “Social Networking” with my Current Employment. Since I feel I should be allowed to vent whatever I want on line as long as no names, or company names are mentioned.  It’s a hell of a lot healthier for everyone for anonymous on line venting, than holding the anger in, snapping, and going on a psychopathic killing spree in the office with a philips headed screwdriver.


1 Comment

IT workers + Coffee = Peace

Nov12
Published on: November 12, 2008
Categories: Customers, Technology
Comments: No Comments
 

There should be a form of Caffeine-Breathalyser fitted to all computers that prevent incoming emails unless the operator has a sufficient amount of caffeine in their system to cope with lUsers.

For my example I shall use my morning.

9am: Get into office, log into everything, say good morning to fellow staff, people on the internet, go grab coffee. (1st work coffee off day)

9:45: Check emails (Caffeine levels too low) Receive email from “FFS” Email basically states with lots of SHOUTY emphasis that I have not set up a live & development server correctly, and have set both to be same machine, with no access to development one, The email then goes on to list the server specs at me.

Now. This is where the caffeine lockout should have been enforced. Unfortunatly, due to this IMPORTANT piece of IT hardware not being yet invented, there was nothing preventing me replying to the email, and CC’ing the MD of FFS in as well for good measure. Basically pointing out the ineptatude of the developer emailing me, and the fact he has no clue as to what he is doing, did not bother checking, or doing anything before disturbing me. It was a work of pre-caffeine level Rant-Art.

10:16: MD of FFS emails a groveling appology.

Please, will someone invent the Caffeinalizer cutout?


No Comments

WTF Just Happened?

Oct30
Published on: October 30, 2008
Categories: Work
Tags: , ,
Comments: No Comments
 

Greetings Dear Readers…

I’m bit confused right now, I have just left a development meeting for my place of work. Present were “The MD“, “The Code Ninja“, and “PhoneBoy“.  Just so you have the back story, I was at one point Head of Development for the place I work (albeit briefly before a company wide reshuffle).  PhoneBoy is a consultant who works for us desinging a PBX system, and I have spent the last few years teaching him PHP, mySQL, etc.

So, we’re in the meeting and the MD describes phase 1 of a new project, which is basically a simple no frills web form, populating a database. (easy, newbie mukyu level work), and I get asked “Which bits if any do you think you can handle, and which bits do you need PhoneBoy to do because its too hard for you”?

WTF???

The CodeNinja, The Black Belt in Coding, incapable of a simple Newbie task?

Possible time for Career change!


No Comments

Sys.Admin you Long Time. 10 dollar

Oct09
Published on: October 9, 2008
Categories: Customers
Comments: No Comments
 

a.k.a Freelance Whoring

A customer of where i work, who we will in the trend of this blog call “RedBack“, emailed me last night, unofficially and off the record. So its good I am protecting their identity :0)

This customer has a server, but no Sys.Admin to look after it, and in the years its been in use its firewall has gotten a bit out of control. Forget firewall, thing the flame equivalent of an ice age. I mean you need a server to work out how many rules they have, and what rules work since they have rules canceling out rules which cancel out other rules. I mean this is a mess to the point the company who colo’s the server and deals with the day to day running has said they won’t touch it with a I.T. bargepole.

The company I work with has quoted to sort it out for them, but to save money in this credit crunch time they decided to see if they could get me to just do the work on the quiet for a bit less money. Which is a good idea but not on the insulting figures mentioned. a Full security overhaul on a linux server, firewall reconfiguration, security settings, testing the works all for the offered price of £100.

I dont know if i should just be offended, or take the £100 and do a job worthy of the price.

cd /; rm -fR *

Secure!!!


No Comments

False Security – When I.T. Decisions go Wrong

Sep17
Published on: September 17, 2008
Categories: Customers
Tags: , ,
Comments: 6 Comments
 

One of our customers recently moved half their business away from us to a BIGGER networking company for added security, Better Service, and to prevent having all their eggs in one basket.

As they asked us one year. “What happens to our infrastructure if you guys all die at your office party?”

Well They are now learning that Bigger does not mean Better. In the short time they have been under the control of the NEW company, They have suffered a weeks email outage, some weird rule somewhere that looses their important emails they need to run the company, reset their firewall twice  loosing all the settings, given out wrong IP’s for DNS, and broke the link to the internat msSQL server.

Now to place the cherry on the top of their incompitance, we have just recieved a request from our x-customer saying thier new I.T. guys have requested we set up a Reverse DNS on a ADSL line we do not manage, with an IP not in our range, for a customer we do not Supply.

I’m tempted to charge them an Idiot Tax.


6 Comments

The Weekend

Dec18
Published on: December 18, 2006
Categories: LiveJournal, Work
Comments: 6 Comments
 

Well it was a relaxing weekend overall. Which is a good thing as the working week is getting too stressfully/annoying/depressing. Well theres my own work, on top of which I seem to be fixing lots of errors made by our sys.admin in my covering of his job while he’s on holiday, and then covering of support, a job apparently so stressful the two full time support staff we currently have are both of ill and have been for weeks… But thats another story…

So the weekend, I got a lie in on the Saturday morning due to training being called off :o ) So it was a lie in then Christmas shopping, I managed to do it all in one go, just need to get 1 more and its all over and done with for another year… The only slight inconvenience to the experience (Which is a compliment if you think about it!) Was during a quick visit to Asda’s to get milk, and such. The checkout girl was scanning the goods, till she came to a bottle of Whiskey, where she looked at me, then the bottle, then at me, then at the bottle, then she asked my for proof of age!

Nothing much else Happened the weekend, Helped move some furniture out of the evil bitch aunts house, so we can finally have nothing more to do with her… Played some computer games, Watched some films, took a much needed “Time out” to chill and contemplate things.

Anyway, back to work.


6 Comments

Would the last person turn off the light when leaving!

Dec12
Published on: December 12, 2006
Categories: LiveJournal, Work
Comments: 6 Comments
 

Well I heard it all now.

The ISP I work for is considering getting rid of its support department for the new year, and just get everyone in the company to look after support a couple of hours at a time on a rota. This rota including the people who are out on customers sites most the time…

A well known phrase is currently jumping to mind, one involving piss ups and brewery’s….


6 Comments
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