According to the Three Ninjas control panel/stat’s thing, this is actually post number 666. I know, a fear inspiring number right? Now since none of us wanted to actually write the post of the beast, we did the only thing we could think of. We got ourselves a Guest Blogger (of a sorts).
We should give you some history on the Gnome. He first showed up at the Ninja Temple Headquarters of the Three Ninjas one Christmas, after PlanetPete tried ridding himself of the Gnome’s evil influence, by giving him to us as a “Christmas Present”.
“I first met Evil Gnome when he tried to persuade me to say evil things on-line to twitter. Although he seems a quiet individual, he reminds me off a viper sat awaiting to strike at feet passing by.”
Since there he has been happily stalking about the HQ, plotting whatever it is that Gnome’s plot. And whispering evil suggestions to us. Which we have to date managed to resist complying with.
EGG: “That is what you think! I got you to give me access to this site didn’t I?”
GN: “That was our Idea”
EGG: “Oh, was it? Was it really? Hey WTF??? Why am I EGG???”
CN: “In chats we always use Initials, It’s not our fault you are an egg!”
EGG: *starts plotting*
Why is He called The Evil Goth Gnome?
Why is anything called what it is?
Gnome: Well He is basically a Garden Gnome.
EGG: “There is no such thing as ‘Basically a Garden Gnome’ We Gnome’s are the pinnacle of evolution. Have you seen those weeping angel things from Doctor who? We taught them that trick of becoming solid stone when watched!”
Goth: Because he is Monochrome, being a patchwork of black and white. Apart from he Orange boots. For some reasons even goth gnomes have the traditional orange boots.
EGG: “Hey, Leave the boots out of it. A Gnome is not a Gnome without his bright boots. We do not make fun of your mating habits, so leave the boots out of it.”
Evil: Because he is evil!
EGG: “You know what they say? ‘Evil is in the eye of the beholder’ and if you call me Evil again, it’ll be a pencil in the eye of the Ninja!”
So Constant Reader welcome our new Guest Blogger EvilGothGnome. And may heaven have mercy on your souls!
EGG: “Hey! That is not very Nice! You are giving the readers the wrong impression of me!”
I have been reminded to inform you that He is on “The Twitters” as @EvilGothGnome. And by Informed I mean i just had a post-it note stapled to my ankle.
I am back!. With plans afoot.
— Evil Goth Gnome (@EvilGothGnome) February 15, 2013