The Three Ninjas

I know its a slightly old game, and I’m a bit late playing it for the first time. In my defense I did have a slight addiction to re5, l4d, and cod5waw for a while so I am a tad behind on games. So seeing “Dead Space” on sale online for under £10 delivered, how could I refuse. Two days later and the game was in my hand ready to play.

Now, when the game first came out one of my colleagues got it and was telling me how creepy, atmospheric and brilliant the game was. So I knew that to get full enjoyment I needed to set it up correctly.

Step 1) Place game in xbox and boot it up.

Step 2) Turn up sound to a high level

Step 3) Close all curtains in the room

Step 4) Turn off the lights

Step 5) Let the fun commence.

The game (so far) takes part of a damages space ship. The corridors and rooms are all damaged and smashed up, there bodies here and there, graffiti on the walls, and no power to some sections so its completely dark, only illuminated by the torch on your gun. Oh and to make it trickier some parts are open to space so theres no air (How long can you hold your breath).

So I start the game, and within minutes I’m running for a lift being chased by something, luckily i get in the lift in time for the creature to get cut up by closing doors and I’m off. I get a gun a bit latter which is handy as these creatures are everywhere. Only their bodies are basically bullet proof, you have to shoot their limbs off to do any damage. Now consider it, your in a pitch black corridor, a creature jumps out and you have to shoot its limbs off before it runs at you. Add to that the fact they move through the air vents (anyone say aliens?) and can pop out behind you, in front of you, anywhere. You can even see some crawling in the walkways above you. and their shadows move at the end of the corridors you are walking along, so you know you are going to get jumped at some point.

Put all that while sitting in a dark room, with the creepy sounds at a loud volume, and you can imagine how slow i was walking the corridors, “Run? bugger that for a game of soldiers!” I walked with my gun in aim mode, checking every corner and vent I approached. It may take me a while to complete the game, but I’ll do it in one piece.  This is the best game I’ve played since re5 (well shotgun + zombies always scores high).

I spent part of the weekend finishing off the game “Fable 2″ on the xbox. Well not completely finishing it off, as theres still a couple of side quests I could do, The main one has been finished, the world saved from tyranny, and all the poor peasants killed by the spire resurrected (I was playing a saintly character, Next time I’m having more fun being evil).  Anyway, as I was playing I realised that its a very strange game, and you can get into some weird situations for a game without even trying. Let me give you some examples from a short session of gameplay.

1) Bigamy

Yes, This game allows you to marry as many times as you wish. You can have families all over the place (Just remember their upkeep costs you money.)  You can also have same sex marriages (So its pretty open minded for a game) and some ever weirder ones that I’ll come to in a bit. I discovered this by accident. I had a wife and child in one

village, living happily and content when I accidentally married a gypsy girl.

2) Blackmail

So there I am, with two wives, one child (and an absent husband to both) When i decide to go visit my first wife to see how my child was growing up.  And I could do with resting somewhere to recover my health.  Your family home gives you better bonuses for sleeping there. So I arrive home, to be greeted by my daughter who is runnin

g about all excited at seeing me for he first time. My loving wife gives me a gift of a health potion and a letter some stranger had dropped off for me. “odd!” think I. So I read the letter to discover its a blackmail demand. Someone is demanding 2000 Gold Pieces to keep quiet about my bigamist ways.  Yes dear reader I was being blackmailed in a computer game! What has the world come to.

3) Necrophilia.

Yes, You read that correct necrophilia. I was doing a weird quest that involved me retrieving some countesses body parts for a rather creepy gravedigger. Once he had all the parts he brought her back to life as a zombie (He was very lonely and in love) He had cast a love spell on her so she would fall in love with him and follow him anywhere.  There was a slight problem with this, I’d wandered away from the console to get a coffee. Apparently she fell in love with the first person she saw, and for her to get together with the gravedigger I had to leave.  Since I was AFC (Away From Console) she fell in love with me, and took to following me everywhere. It did not seem nice to kill her, as she had only just come back from the dead, so I did the only other thing I could to stop her following me. Yes, I married her and moved her into a house I bought just for her. It would have been fine if ended there, only being me i wondered “What would happen if you had unprotected sex with a zombie?” Result: another child.  I never got to find out if the child would grow up to be a zombie child (which would have been semi cool) Since the evil soldiers killed all my families in an attempt to wipe out my hero bloodline. They even shot my dog!