Wayne Pendragon Owens

Wayne was born at a very early age and has not died yet, which is something he considers to be a bit of an achievement.

He joined Freemasonry in 2006, went into the chair for the first time in 2011, and started giving talks across several Provinces in early 2017, before joining NWAMS as a speaker in 2021.

He Is an accidentally established Masonic author and has had articles published in several Masonic and non-Masonic periodicals.

by Wayne Pendragon Owens

I am an Author, Freemason, Rosicrucian, Blood Biker, Widows Son, CodeNinja, Spod, Hacker, Son, Uncle, Brother, Man, AN INDIVIDUAL!

News

1st July 2016

have you had a car accident in the last 3 years

The annoying constant PPI phone calls have finally reduced to just the occasional one every few weeks.

But the peace is not to be enjoyed as the “Have you or anyone there had or been involved in a traffic accident in the last three years” calls have risen to take their place. And these guys are much more aggressive.

  • “Have you or anyone there had or been involved in a traffic accident in the last three years”
  • “They must have”
  • “someone there will have had some accident. ask them now!”
  • “There WILL BE SOMEONE.”

So the other day after a dozen calls in under a hour, from the same number. Someone who will remain nameless may have gotten a tad annoyed.

Cold Caller

HI. Have you or anyone there had or been involved in a traffic accident in the last three years?

WO

OMG! How do you know? Are you a reporter?

Cold Caller

What?

NO!

So you have been in a accident in the last three years because……

WO

It wasn’t my fault!

I am not to blame!!!!!

Cold Caller

That is good to hear.

So what kind of accident were you involved in?

WO

It was the radio’s fault.

Cold Caller

The radio?? errr…

WO

Heart FM’s fault to be exact.

If they had not put on Justin Beaver, I would not have had to take my eyes off the road to try and make it stop. Gods I had to make it stop. So how was I supposed to see the car ahead of me stop sharply?

Cold Caller

So you went into the back of them?

WO

NO!

I managed to stop the hideous music and lookup in time to swerve off the road, and I missed them. The issue is with the Bus Stop.

Cold Caller

So you swerved to avoid a car and hit a bus stop?

WO

Oh, I missed the Bus stop, well it was just a lamp post really, No, the issue is with the queue of people waiting for the bus.

Cold Caller

YOU HIT A LOAD OF PEOPLE?

WO

Well most managed to jump or run out of the way.

It was just the pregnant nuns that could not waddle out the way fast enough.

Cold Caller

NUNS?

WO

Yes, Nuns. You know those odd women who dress up as penguins and are all married to the same guy?

I know some say its an odd fetish, but personally I think it has to be some weird cult.

I have nothing against fetishes myself, nothing wrong with a bit of bdsm.

Cold Caller

BDSM?

What, hang on.

WO

BDSM, you know like 50 shades but much less rapey!

My safe word is Pineapple!

Cold Caller

FUCK OFF YOU FREAK!!!

*CLICK*

WO

That’s rude.

*buzzing on phone*

WO

Hello?

Hello?

Anyone there?

Pineapple!!!!

Oddly.

That was the last such call we had. And there has been none since.

The world is an odd place..