The Three Ninjas

The Unholy Trinity of Bloggers

Categories: Travel

Sometimes the World Works….

Jul06

by GothNinja

Published on: July 6, 2010

Categories: Spiritual, Travel

Tags: Police, Travel

Comments: 1 Comment

I’d just like to share this motivational story you with Dear Reader, It really made my day and its good to see that sometimes stupidity gets its just deserts.It happened last night on my commute home.

I was driving along some country roads, just coming out of a nasty bend heading for a nice long straight bit. There was no traffic in front of me, and just a motorbike in the oncoming lane a short distance ahead. Just as I was getting to a junction on the right, a car pulled out of the junction directly in front of the motorbike.

Judging by the smug look on the drivers face he had seen the bike and decided he could pull out in front, or that it was just a bike so it would swerve. The poor biker had to jam his breaks on and the bike started swerving and juddering as you would expect from a near emergency stop at speed. I think a lesser driver could well have come off the bike.

Just as I was cursing the stupid car driver, and muttering the “there’s never a cop about when you need one” The bike managed to sort itself out, and started accelerating after the car, with some hidden blue lights starting to flash in the fairing… Yes!!! it was an unmarked police bike, and I wish I could have been there when he pulled the car over.

Sometimes, the world works!…

GGN

1 Comment

Sisyphean Roadworks

Apr15

by GothNinja

Published on: April 15, 2010

Categories: Travel

Tags: Travel, Weird

Comments: No Comments

On my way home last night I saw something that made me do a double take, and was such a bizarre concept that I felt I had to share it with you.

Part of my daily commute currently passes “Mobile Repairs“. And No before you ask, that does not mean they repair mobile phone. I stopped and asked, and the captain threw a hammer at my head.

Basically they are working their way along the road repairing the millions of potholes that are currently infecting the UK’s road system. To keep themselves safe while working that have temporary traffic lights and cones set up. (Health and Safety and all that)

So as I was driving home last night I happened to catch the strange creatures that actually set up and move these lights and cones. Now you are probably wondering how does Health & Safety cover the removal of Temporary lights and traffic cones on a busy road?

Well that’s simple, They had put up Temporary Lights slightly further out from the temporary lights to keep them safe as they packed away the first lot of lights. So the question is, do they then have to put up more Temporary Lights to be able to remove the Temporary Lights they places to be able to remove the Original Lights? Also. if they keep placing the new lights slightly forward of the old lights will the eventually be so far apart they cover a whole country?

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It’s this stupid movie. It’s called “Coffins from Hell.”

Feb08

by GothNinja

Published on: February 8, 2010

Categories: Vehicles

Tags: Travel

Comments: 2 Comments

Just a quickie post: The Blog equivalent of a Knee trembler on the fire-escape at the back of a night club. Or if you was a Tiv Regular back in “the good ole days!” then a quick visit to that middle floor seating area.

Hang on… I’ve gone of topic slightly, and to be fair any mention of the Tiv deserves a full blog post for itself. Maybe someday… Right, for now back to “the Big Picture” of this quick post, and the lesson for the week that I wish to impart to you.

One Last tangent: 10 Film Geek Points to anyone who connects the post title to the content. (easy one)

R: “You know for a <quote>Just a quickie post</quote> you have so far “babbled” for 112 words?“

GN: “You actually counted them? Sheeeesh, you have way too much time on your hands!”

R: “Duh!!!! If I did not, I wouldn’t be reading your blog would I?“

GN: “Fair Point. I’ll give you that. Now Back to the story…..“

To tell you the truth, I’ve now forgotten what I was going to post about, “Hey it is a Monday morning. I can be forgiven!” The Big Picture, that was it.

This morning as I drove to work I was stopped on a hill by the car in front of me wishing to turn right, and was waiting for a break in the oncoming traffic or a nice driver to stop and let him cross. We were there for quite a while as a silly amount of cars came past in a constant stream. After about five minutes the driver gave up and drove on, planning on taking a different longer route to where he wanted to go.

Now if he had looked at “The Bigger Picture” or at least ocular mapped the area, he would have realised two important things.

1) The reason there was so much traffic coming down the hill was due to the road works slightly higher up the hill, which were on Red for us, Green for them.

2) If he waited for lights to change he could have turned with no problem.

As it was he drove past his turning and got stuck in the row of cars waiting for the lights to change.

So people, Always look at the big picture. Take that extra few seconds to look outside of your comfort zone. See why things are as they are, and how they affect you. You could end up saving yourself a lot of hassle and problems.

Remember Rome was not built in a day. But with modern technology we could flatten it in minutes. It makes you think!

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Theres Snow Business Like Snow Business!

Jan08

by GothNinja

Published on: January 8, 2010

Categories: Travel, Weather, Work

Tags: Snow, Weather, Work

Comments: No Comments

Well I finally managed to get into the Office for the first time since I had an early dart Tuesday due to bad weather (and its now Friday). You see Tuesday where I live had 5.4Inches of snow. I know its exactly 5.4 Inches since I pushed a ruler into the snow and measured.

So Wednesday morning I woke up to the snow, and my car which was just a big mound of snow with icicles hanging off it. I looked at the drive (Uphill) which was just a mass of snow, and the road that goes bast my drive which is never ploughed/gritted/etc, and I went back indoors and worked from home for two days.

Now today (Friday) the snow is still there, the council have yet to do anything about the state of my road. So “Why did you go to work?” I hear you ask. Well one of my neighbours has spent the last two days playing with a mini-digger slowly clearing his way to civilisation. And I felt that his sacrifice should not be in vain. So To work I went!

What?

You don’t believe me?

I’m shocked, Shocked and Hurt!……….

OK. Well there may have been the secondary issue of running out of coffee and needing to go out to get some. But I’m sure I’d have gone to work anyway, coffee or no coffee.

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How did no one die?

Oct21

by GothNinja

Published on: October 21, 2009

Categories: Travel

Tags: Idiots, Travel

Comments: No Comments

I thought I would tell you about an incident that took place the other week on my commute into the Asylum. Its an interesting look into the stupidity of the human mind, and how people will risk lives to get an extra few minutes before leaving for work. Its madness if you ask me, leave on time, leave five minutes early, Hell be five minutes late, its not worth dying for. If you want to risk your life and die, join the forces overseas. don’t risk innocent lives in collateral damage.

Let me explain.

I was driving along enjoying the countryside, I was the front car on my side the road, so clear road all the way. That is to say clear apart from the lane of oncoming traffic. Well It was early morning commute hour. So I’m driving along when one of the oncoming cars decides he wants to go faster so starts overtaking the rest of the traffic in his lane. The side affect of that is he’s now in my lane accelerating towards me, and there’s no way he can make the front of the cars and pull back in before he will reach me “This could be messy“. So being the sensible person I occasionally pretend to be, I decide to slow down in the hope he can make it.

“This may work… WTF!!!!!” Since I am now slowing down to try and avoid a head on collision, the car behind me has decided he’s in a rush so is now overtaking me to get in front. Yes dear reader we have two idiots trying to overtake into the path of oncoming vehicles AT THE SAME TIME! If i was not actually there at the time, I would expect this to be the plot of some comedy. We now have four cars heading towards each other at high speeds. Yes that’s two cars in each lane heading at each other. Its such a hard concept to consider since all you with normal minds will be going “what? he cant mean they were all heading at each other” I’ve made a small image to show exactly what I mean.

carmadness How this did not end up in a multiple car pile up, I am still trying to work out. As soon as it got into the situation shown, I drove my car off the road and up a grassy bank to make sure I was out the way. The car heading towards me managed since I was no longer on the road to drive through where I should have been, and using the gap created by the second idiot being in the wrong lane to pull back into his correct lane before he reached the next car along on my side of the road. The two cars on the other side of the road, thanks to some good emergency stopping & breaks managed to come to a rest with their bumpers touching, and the other cars had slowed down like me, seeing the possibility of a crash.

Why people, Why? Is it really so bad that you may be 1 minute late?

Please think and drive!

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Diversion Deviants

Sep21

by GothNinja

Published on: September 21, 2009

Categories: Practical Joke, Travel

Tags: Practical Joke, Travel

Comments: No Comments

I would like to give a mention of thanks to the Pranksters who made my Monday morning commute much easier than normal, while providing me with entertainment that’s kept me amused all day so far. Let me explain:-

As you may know from previous posts My current commute is a nightmare from roadworks and diversions. Well on my trip in this morning as I was driving along one of the diversions, I noticed that there was a “diversion” sign in a new place, and was now sending traffic off the route they had been using for the last few weeks, and down a different road. Now as I know the area, I ignored the diversion and continued on my way, on a now empty road as everyone else had followed the sign. And for that ease of trip i thank you whoever moved the sign.

Diversion Sign

I should point out why this has amused me so much all day.

The road all the cars, vans, trucks, wagons were being diverted along was a dead end. A dead end with no real space o turn a car around, let alone any of the bigger vehicles. In fact I’d be surprised due to narrowness of road if the trucks did not get jammed before they made it to the end, helping to trap everyone on the road. And all this on a Monday morning (which people tend to hate anyway). Once again, I raise my hat to whoever was behind this bit of pure genius!!

We here at Three Ninjas Salute You.

ZenWan!

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When Did I upset the God of RoadWorks?

Sep17

by GothNinja

Published on: September 17, 2009

Categories: Travel, Work

Tags: Travel, Work

Comments: No Comments

I am sure I have done something to offend the God of Roadworks, there is no other explanation for what has been going on for the last few weeks. Let me explain.

My commute to work has been extended for a while now due to multiple roadworks and a diversion. I’ve just managed to time my trips to get me to the office in time when they decide to close a major duel carriageway that I use one my trip.

No problems. I’ll bypass that with a country road I know.

Well that worked for two days then they decided to divert all the traffic from the very busy duel carriageway down the small country road i use. making it basically a car park for hours on end.

Ok. some problems but I can drive over the mountains on a single lane country road that no one uses.

Well that one worked for one day. The following day and there are now three sets of road works on that country road. What have a done? What?

Was it that time I moved all the cones in Whitby? I was just trying to save their lives, they were standing in the middle of the road, they could have been run over? What was it? please, I cant go one….

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I Sometimes wish for my own Spy Satellite

Jul28

by GothNinja

Published on: July 28, 2009

Categories: Travel

Tags: Travel, Vehicles

Comments: No Comments

Yesterday I made my way back to work after a weeks holiday (Why do you always need a holiday to recover from a holiday?) As i traveled along my normal commute, I was hit with a closed road & diversion. Now this is a bit of a tricky one as the closed road is a rather busy road that carries a vast amount of traffic up towards the north wales coast, and has trucks going back and too almost constantly. The diversion sent this heavy traffic through Bwlchgwyn (A place advertising itself as the highest village in Wales) For those of you who have never been there I should point out this is a small village situated on the top of a mountain, and has very small roads between its buildings. Roads that due to parked vehicles are just wide enough for a single car to drive along as long as there is no oncoming traffic. “Great!” says I, “This is going to annoy me for weeks!“.

That was yesterday.

Today the commute included a load of new road signs. in bright yellow, and placed every 50 yards for the length of the diversion. These signs said simply “DO NOT TRUST YOUR SATNAV”

Now, I agree this is a valid warning from the government, You cant have people going about listening to voices coming out of small box’s, how does the box know which way to go? it hasn’t even got any eyes? And what if the person in the box is rubbish at reading maps? you could end up anywhere, Or it could try and tell you to turn and drive off the end of a cliff. But I digress.

Now for the signs to have been placed, and the amount placed you know there had to be at least several incidents. All I can think off is several trucks (since cars are more maneuverable) must have been sent on the diversion, and their satnav’s must have realised they were on a different road, and tried to recalculate them back to the road they should be on. The only way to do this would be to direct them down streets not designed for traffic bigger than horses, or the small horse drawn cart. roads where you have no chance to turn around on. Now these roads will go to the road the trafic should be traveling along, but wait! that roads closed so can not be used.

So I figure there was a lot of trucks or larger vehicles trapped on small side roads yesterday, causing chaos, and possible emergency rescue. I would love to have watched it on my Spy Satellite, If only I had one.

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It’s all over the front page, you give me road rage

Jul02

by GothNinja

Published on: July 2, 2009

Categories: Travel, Weather

Tags: Vehicles, Weather

Comments: No Comments

This post should be read to the theme tune of Road Rage by Catatonia. roadrage

You could be taking it easy on yourself
You should be making it easy on yourself
Cause you and I know,
It’s all over the front page, you give me road rage

Road Rage by Catatonia

Some mornings I really wish they hurry up inventing the personal teleporter.

So once again the temperature is stupidly hot, with the possibility of outbreaks of “Dave Syndrome“, and its time for the long commute over the welsh mountains to work. Now having to drive a long distance in this heat is not a nice experience in a car where the only a/c is opening the windows. So I did not start off with high expectations, and what little I had did not last long.

Irritant 1) Animals

I do not know if its the heat affecting them, or if there’s some big conspiracy in the animal kingdom to get me for some past upset, whatever the reason they are not behaving as you would expect them to. I first noticed this “oddness” when leaving my drive and as I pulled onto the road there was a huge fat pigeon standing in the middle of the road blocking it. So being Nice, I slowly drove up to it so it would fly away. Nothing! It just stood there watching me, as I had to maneuver around it since I did not want my car splattered with dead animal (It took ages to clean off the badger entrails). After the pigeon there was a rabbit, followed a bit later by a squirrel, then a baby rabbit, another squirrel, and finally a cat.

Irritant 2) Cars

Whats going on? Today there are something like one billion extra cars on the road (Give or take a Car). They are everywhere, Why? If it was Friday I’d say there were all taking the day off work to go away for the weekend to enjoy the heat. Yet here they all are! Junctions I normally just slow down for and get to turn instantly, I’m now stuck parked at for several minutes waiting for a gap in the traffic so i can pull into, Roundabouts are a similar problem. There’s also the knock on affect of slowness, since the roads are so full.

Irritant 3) Diversions.. (AKA Pointless Diversions)

This is also an irritant over stupidness and pointless red tape. On my route to work there is a junction I have to take. Its a simple T-Junction with a small filer road to make it easier for traffic to flow onto the road speeding it all up. Now they are currently doing some road repairs on this filter road, leaving the main junction clear. Yet, and this really is a good example of red tape. The filter road is closed, With loads of “Road Closed” signs, and “Diversion” signs. Now the turning for the junction is about 10 yards from the turning onto the filter road. This means the sign saying there is a diversion is next to the sign saying “<=- Diversion“. Then when you turn you have another 10 yards before you hit the sign saying “Diversion Ends“. The three of them are so close together you can jump from one to the other to the first in a small triangle. WHY?

Irritant 4) Road Works

Why? For the love of the Gods, Why? as soon as we get hot weather does every builder on the planet start doing work on roads, or on building close to roads causing traffic lights, or the road to be restricted to one lane? Is there a Memo that goes out? are they in the pay of petrol stations to waste our petrol by making us constantly stuck waiting to pass?

Irritant 5) JCB Diggers

OK. I don’t really have to say anything about these, it says it all, They are Big Yellow travel at 5 miles an hour and make overtaking on country lanes impossible, and tend to only drive during rush hour commute times…

So on another day where they claim “Its the hottest recorded day!” (I’m sure they only have records going back one week), I’m stuck inside a metal box slowly cooking on my long commute to work, All I need is some idiot to cut me up, or start tailgateing me and we’re having a bit of road rage!!

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Cyborgs Work for the RAC

Feb27

by CodeNinja

Published on: February 27, 2009

Categories: Vehicles

Tags: cyborgs, RAC, Vehicles

Comments: 2 Comments

An interesting thing happened to me on the way to work…

Start Car and leave home heading to the Insane Asylum, Stop off at petrol station and fill up on diesel. I notice one of my tires is looking a bit deflated, so after failed attempts at humor to make it feel a bit better i pull over to the air compressor for a “top up” only the machine is broke (

“No problems“. Say I.. Off we head to work, about a half mile from the office there is a garage, so I stop, and make use of their working compresser.

Jump back into the car, turn key. and watch as the Glow Plug light flashes on and off doing an impression of an indicator light. “Humm” think I, “thats a bit odd“, but try starting the car anyway.

chugga chugga chugga….. chugga chugga chugga….

Nothing? no starting. nothing…

Arse, open bonnet, realise I not know much about the modern diesel engine, but prod about a bit in the male belief that “it cant hurt!“. Jump back into car… Nothing.

Ok, I may be male, but I admit my limitations. Quick phone to the helpful RAC people. And caused some slight amusement. examples:-

Me: “My car wont start, the diesel light is flashing and it just doesnt start”

RAC: “Whats the correct term for that light?”

Me: “err no idea… I call itthe yellow coil light”

RAC: “Theres a proper name for it”

Me: “Hang on, I’m googling it now.”

RAC: “You said you were stuck on the side of a road?”

Me: “Got to love iphones!”

So the emergency call was sent out, and so I just had to wait the one hour estimated turn up time. So I amused myself talking to the fellow inmates at the asylum on NetIM (See reference to Jibber Jabber)

RAC Borg

Ok, so RAC mechanic turns up. I get out of car and explain the problem, “yellow coil light flashes, and engine no work!” (I’m good with technical wordies me!). To demonstrate my point more, I attempt to start my car.

“Hummmmm, Odd!” says the mechanic, Who pops the hood, leans on the car looks at the engine “Humm” goes to the drivers side, and starts the engine on his first go. He then proceeds to stop and start the engine several times to check its working.

“This is my second call out today” He says looking thoughtful, “And both times the car has just worked as soon as I turned up!”

The mans a Borg. the one time he touched the car he released nanobots that repaired the damage. I will be recommending the RAC to everyone now.

2 Comments