Categories: Misc

RIP Harold Ramis

Published on: February 24, 2014
Categories: Misc
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Published on: July 14, 2013
Categories: Entertainment, Misc
Tags: , ,
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This is not a real post, I just wanted a place where I could point people at these lyrics!


Words and tune by John Owen (1836-1915)

Holl drigolion bro a bryniau
Dewch i wrando hyn o eiriau
Cewch chi hanes rhyw hen fochyn
A fu farw yn dra sydyn


O mor drwm yr ydym ni
O mor drwm yr ydym ni
Y mae yma alar calon
Ar ôl claddu’r mochyn du.

Gweithiwyd iddo arch o dderi
Wedi’i drimio a’i berarogli
Ac fe dorrwyd bedd ardderchog
I’r hen fochyn yng Ngharngoediog

Y Parchedig Wil Twm Griffi
Ydoedd yno yn pregethu
Pawb yn sobor anghyffredin
Oll i ddangos parch i’r mochyn

Bellach rydwyf yn terfynu
Nawr gan roddi heibio ganu
Cymrwch ofal bawb rhag dilyn
Siampl ddrwg wrth fwydo mochyn


All you (inhabitants) of the community and hills
Come and listen to these words
You’ll get the story of an old pig
Who died very suddenly.


Oh how heavy (hearted) we are
Oh how heavy (hearted) we are
There is heartfelt grief here
After burying the black pig.

A coffin of oak was worked for him
Trimmed and scented
And a wonderful grave was dug
For the old pig in Carngoediog.

It was the Reverend Wil Twm Griffi
Who was there to preach
Everyone was terribly solemn
All to show respect for the pig.

Now I am finishing
And stopping the singing
Take care lest you follow
A bad example as you feed a pig.

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One for sorrow, Two for Joy

Published on: June 11, 2013
Categories: Misc, Mythology
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One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret never to be told.


OK, So we are all aware of the Magpie fortune telling poem. “What do you mean you have no idea what I am on about?” Right for a primer go read this “Greetings Mr Magpie. One for Sorrow…” I will wait here for you while you do.

***Time Passes***

OK, So we are NOW all aware of the Magpie fortune telling poem, But I have some Questions relating to it.

1) How do you count the Magpies?

You see a magpie by itself and you go “ONE”, Then you see another one and go “TWO” but? Is it two or is it two single Magpies?

2) Is there a set area in which to count the Magpies?

If there are two or more Magpies standing next to each other then the counting is obvious. But what if there are say two Magpies together and a third three foot away, does it count?

3) Do you count based on the Photograph affect?

If when you saw the first Magpie and in your mind took a photograph do you count all the Magpie’s you can see at that minute. So if a second or two later you see another Magpie does that count to the total score or do you start recounting.

4) Do you count based on a time frame?

So after the first Magpie is spotted does a timer start, and you count every Magpie you see in the follow few seconds? Does it go by blinking?

Hopefully its blinking, because I can go a long time between blinks. This would allow me to cheat and not blink until I hit a score that is beneficial to me.

5) How does multiples count?

OK. so you have your counting rules fixed in your mind. And you see a Magpie (ONE) then a short while again you see another Magpie (ONE) now, which of the three options does this count as?

a) Fortune is confirming that you are in for Sorrow

b) You are going to have two lots of sorrow

c) Your sorrow is now going to be twice as bad


This may seem a bit of an odd thing to contemplate, but its for a very very good reason. “Three for a Girl” If we can get the rules agreed on (go for blinking) I could fix it so I always get to count Magpies as being three, then if I can get two lots of three Then according to (5b) I would get a threesome, more than two lots of three and we are in for an orgy!



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Real Life Heroes

Published on: April 16, 2013
Categories: Misc
Comments: 1 Comment

We here at the Ninja Temple would like to take a minute to give our respect and thanks to the real life heroes who stepped up when they were needed yesterday at the Boston Marathon.

The Videos of the first explosion show the first-responders running towards the explosions before the smoke even clears, No concern for their own safety or that more could go off, they ran towards danger because people needed help.

There were medical people taking part in the marathon, and even after running for 26 miles they went right to helping the injured, or helped at the medical tents.

Other runners who had just ran the 26 Miles continued running to the nearest Hospital so they could donate much needed blood.

Then there were the people who lived local who brought out drinks and blankets for the runners who were stranded waiting for the area to be declared safe.

And the Coffee shops opening up their wifi to let people contact each other, recharge their phones, and have drinks even if they did not have money on them.

Basically you only really see the inerrant good in the human race when they step up under such evil situations and show the true meaning of “human spirit”

To all the people affected by the incident we send out thought, wishes, and prayers.

And to those who showed the good in mankind we Salute you, and send our thanks.

The Three Ninjas Staff

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Is there anyone out there?

Published on: December 22, 2012
Categories: Misc
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Well December 21st 2012 has past and we are all still here. We survived, the world did not end in a blaze of fire, long forgotten unhallowed graves did not spew forth their masses of undead zombies (I am a slightly upset about that one)

So Congratulations to us. WE RULE. so lets put all these doomsday worries behind us, and move on with our lives…….


This post is set to auto publish. SO technically we could all be dead. the world could be totally destroyed and this post is going out to no one. In which case I would just like to say.

Good bye and thanks for all the fish.

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For the Parents out there

Published on: November 21, 2012
Categories: Misc
Tags: ,
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Hey Guys, Gals, and Constant Readers Lend me your ears.

Oh, I should point out I do not want to use your ears in any weird way. I will not be putting anything into them, before YOU (Yes YOU, you know who YOU are!) ask, Neither do I wish you to rip/cut/remove your ears in any way and throw them at me. In fact I wish I had not started with that famous opening now, and just gone with a more easily defined “Please listen to me for a minute” But, hey ho, you live and learn.

Anyway, I have a Question, and I am aiming it to the parents out there. The question is :-

Does having kids lower your IQ?

Before you parents go nuts and order me to go sit on the naughty step, let me explain by sharing two incidents I have witnessed this week (And its only Wednesday).

Incident 1:

I pulled into a Petrol Station, and got in line to wait for a free Pump. The car in front of my was being filled up by a young lady who looked almost finished. She puts the hose back on the Pump, puts the cap back on her car, all perfectly normal so far. She opened the back door of her car and collected her handbag (Obviously so she could pay inside). At this point her baby must have made a noise at seeing her, since she leans back into the car waves a stuffed rabbit toy about a bit and stands back up, puts her handbag back in the car, gets in and drives off without paying. Now I am positive since she collected her bag she had every intention of paying, but the interaction with her child made her forget she had not paid.

Incident 2:

Driving up a hill on my daily commute (Monday) there is a woman with a pram and a toddler struggling to cross the very busy road. She had made it half way across and was stuck on a small island looking scared. I did the decent thing and stopped to let her across, where upon crossing she turns and starts walking up the hill where 10 yards further up is the School crossing guard to the school she is taking the toddler too.  Now in case you are unfamiliar with School Crossing guards, they have the power to stop all traffic to let people cross the road, So why she did not cross 10 yards further up the hill I do not know. As an aside to this Incident, She was there the following day as well (Tuesday), only she had not got to the point of crossing the road yet, I saw her walk past the Crossing guard down to where the road had a little island and wait to try to cross there.


So I ask you. Does having Children lower your ability to do everyday tasks? enquiring minds want to know!


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I am always glad to help

Published on: September 28, 2012
Categories: Misc, Survey
Tags: ,
Comments: 2 Comments

On my way home from work I stopped off at the local Co-Op for a loaf of bread. As I was leaving the store I spotted one of those people who like to hang out with clipboards and hassle ordinary folk as they try and go about their daily lives. My normal response to them is to give off a “Don’t even think about it” Vibe and walk right past without even acknowledging their existence.

As I got almost to the door the heavens opened with a torrential downpour. ‘Shit. I’m going to get drenched, maybe if I wait five min’s it will ease off’ I thought. So I smiled at the clipboard wielding woman and decided to help her out.

Woman: “Hi. Can you spare a bit of your time to help us out?”

GN: *looks out at rain* “why not… Go for it….”

Woman: “ok” *looks at survey form* “How often would you say you shop at this store? Daily? Several times a week? weekly? How often, roughly?”

GN: *starts counting on fingers, 1, 2, 3, 4….* “Roughly? Say once every five years”

Woman: *looks confused at form* “err. Ok. I’ll put down once a month.And why did you choose to shop at this store today? Price of Items? Availability? Good Parking, Size of store?”

GN: “There was a crash in Tesco’s car-park, I would have been ages trying to get in there to park!”

Woman: “errr….ummm… OK. if you do not mind me asking about how much was your shopping today?”

GN: *raises loaf and looks for price tag* “£1.30″

Woman: “Did you find the store had all the dairy products you wanted?”

GN: *Raises loaf and looks at it quizzically* “Not applicable”

Woman: “Did you find the store had all the meat products you wanted?”

GN: *Raises loaf and looks at it quizzically* “Not applicable”

Woman: *starting to look a bit confused* “Did you find the store had all the fresh baked products you wanted?”

GN: *Raises loaf and looks at it quizzically* “Breads counts as baked right? SO Yes”

Woman: “Did you find all the Beer or Spirits you ……”

GN: *Raises loaf and wiggles it*

Woman: “Right, I’ll just put not applicable to all these” *crosses off loads of entry’s on the form* “OK. as you were walking about the store today on a scale of 0-10 how did you find the amount of stuff on the shelves?”

GN: *Looks behind the Woman at the section of the store with completely empty shelves* “It’s probably not wise to ask that question while standing in front of the part the store where they are changing all the shelves around”

Woman: “err I’ll put Not applicable to that as well” *starts to randomly answer questions herself* “OK, were you able to find everything you wanted today?”

GN: *Raises loaf and pokes it* “YES!!! Yes I was!”

Woman: *slowly starting to back away from the entrance* “Thank you for your time… err its very important to us and we appreciate it… Have a good day… Bye!!”

GN: *Waves with the loaf of bread*


I think my feedback will be appreciated and help towards improving the store. I should have been paid. Or at least offered a 10% discount on my days shopping.



Hah. I’ve fixed the Problem with the Calendar

Published on: September 13, 2012
Categories: Misc
Comments: 1 Comment

Have you noticed that we have a MAJOR problem with the current calendar system?

You have not? Really? You are joking right? Can you even tell the time?

Ok. For the “Slower” among you let me point out the flaw.

For rough quick calculations you think of there being FOUR weeks in a month. For example if you have X amount of something to last a month, you mentally divide it by 4 to work out your weekly amount.

So FOUR weeks a month. TWELVE months a year. Gives us FOUR times TWELVE or FORTY EIGHT weeks.

Yes. I know. We are all taught in school there are FIFTY TWO weeks in a year. SO where are the missing FOUR weeks? Yes, the current messed up calendar has a whole month missing in it. Which messes up monthly wages/bills/everything.

So What can we do? Just add a new month to the year called Waynember? (Just throwing that name suggestion out there in case a new month is the way forward)

Well, that would give us THIRTEEN months a year, and the average person is superstitions and do not like the number THIRTEEN. So lets but the idea of Waynember as plan B.

So what else can we do?

I suggest we take those FOUR weeks and split them up, and add a couple of extra day to the month. I suggest we slip them in the odd Weekend, making a new Bonus weekend day. I have no name suggestion for this new bonus day. But lets call it WayneDay for now.

WayneDay would be a weekend, and treated like a Bank holiday. As in you get the day off work, but it does not count against your holiday days. It would help the economy with millions of people going to tourist places, pubs, doing DIY on WayneDay. so its win-win all the way.

So there you have it. My suggestion on fixing the Calendar.

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11 Years On.

Published on: September 11, 2012
Categories: Misc
Comments: 1 Comment

Eleven years ago today I was on a training course when I got a SMS telling me to watch the News ASAP. Well I was at a training centre without any TV or Radio, and their internet connection was being flaky. But I managed to jury-rig a computer with an internal modem via their fax line to get online (Well I was not doing much in the course at that minute) And I watched replays of the planes flying into the sides of the Twin Towers over and over as the western world stood unified in shock.

This was the first act of international terrorism on US Soil, and it was big. Possibly the biggest terrorist attack recorded. Lets be honest it changed the World as we know it. IT kicked off the “War on Terror”. Security procedures were changed and tightened across the globe. Hell you can not get on an American plane any more without an invasive body scan.

The biggest change to the Americans was the loss of that “safe feeling” you get being a long way from any war zone, or trouble spot. It even affected us in the UK and we were used to terrorist attacks from years dealing with the IRA.

We are now eleven years on, which seems an important anniversary being the “11th 9-11″ and we are still fighting the War on Terror, our troops are still being killed fighting the same organisation that did the cowardly attack on the Twin Towers. A lot of people say the loss of life is not worth it, we should just pull out and leave them be.

Personally I don’t think we can, If we want to regain the feeling of being safe and prevent future generations having to deal with an event like 9/11 We need to finish this now. But no more “Mr Niceguy” They fight with acts of terror, they use bobby traps, they arm kids, they use human shields, They do every cowardly evil thing they can, and that is why eleven years on we are still fighting. You can not use standard gentleman’s rules of warfare against such people.

I say we pull out and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

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Greetings Mr Magpie. One for Sorrow….

Published on: August 9, 2012
Categories: Misc, Mythology
Comments: 2 Comments

So we all know* the “One for Sorrow” Poem in one of its many versions.

*Well I am assuming we all know. If not, Where have you been people!!!!

The one I grew up with is most common one :-


One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret never to be told.

Now. Growing up I was ignorant of the side rule of what to do if you see a single Magpie. I was only illuminated on the subject when I finally asked my sister why she kept saluting magpies.** And she informed me that a single Magpie (Which equals bad luck) can be countered by saluting it.

**For the first fifteen years of my life I just assumed my sister was insane,

Sounds fishy right?

Well Over the years I have looked it up, and It seems to be be a valid superstition. In fact there seems to be many ways of dealing with the evil of a lone magpie. Some of them are :-

  • “Hello Mr Magpie” “How is your wife/where is your wife?”, “Good Morning/Evening Sir” This apparently both counters the bad luck and adds an imaginary magpie to the count making it “Two for Joy”
  • Say the phrase “I defy thee” seven times.
  • Spit three times to avert ill luck.
  • Pinch the person you are walking with. If alone pinch yourself
  • Salute the Magpie

Well, What I want to know is. What happens if you respond to the single Magpie by hitting it with your car. While its flying (That should give bonus points right??)

Calm down dear its just a blog post!!

The Magpie was not hurt. It was eating on the road when I was driving at it. It took off in one direction, changed its mind and headed towards me, then changed mind again meaning it had not gained hight or distance and its tail-feathers slapped against my cars windscreen.

so if a salute changes bad luck to good luck. does hitting a bird flying in the sky change it from bad luck to AWESOME LUCK

ERRR. just asking for a friend.

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