Categories: Friends

The Gay Test

Published on: February 26, 2014
Comments: No Comments

There has been a lot of online discussion about the possible Laws/Bills in America allowing those who object to refuse to serve same-sex couples, and how it is a major step backwards in the evolution of America. I am not going to discuss it here because it has been well covered in other places.

Last night on Facebook someone asked the question :-

I want to know.. If 2 people of the same gender go to a hotel in one of these states that are talking about allowing banning gay people, would they have to somehow prove that they are straight to stay there?

This led to a long comment conversation on possible ways, and the flaws with them. These ways included such test as :-

The Monty Python Test.

What organisation uses a rainbow as its symbol? The LGBT Movement. What is colourful like a rainbow? A peacock.  So, if we weight a person and they way the same as a Peacock, then we know they are gay.

The Weird Pervert Test.

Hotel funded inspection prostitutes. Trained to sleep with customers and evaluate how much they enjoyed it.

 The first test got the response of “WTF???” I am assuming there were none python people in the conversion.  and the second got responses of “ewwwww!!!!!”

Which led to a more sensible conversation, and testing amongst the people involved. I should point out there were Engineers & Scientists involved in this discussion, and after many formulas, maths, & good old-fashioned trial and error we actually came up with a test that was accurate 100% of the time.

I am going to describe the process here, but we are patent-pending the test with the view to selling them and making a small fortune. After all we have the only fool-proof test in existence.

The Science Test.

This test is based on the fact that saliva undergoes a chemical change when the person is sexual aroused. Which suggests a link between sexual preference and the cells of the tongue.

  1. Take a piece of Litmus paper (The colour changing properties of it come in handy).
  2. SECRET STEP. I am leaving this step out so no one else steals our idea. But it is a basic household ingredient applied to the Litmus paper.
  3. Get the Test subject to drink an acidic drink, (any soda will do). This helps looses the cells on the tongue and remove any blocking material.
  4. Get the Test subject to lick the Litmus paper (You get better results if they can keep some liquid in their mouth when making contact with the paper)
  5. Check Paper. If it is wet/damp then the Test subject is normal, if the paper remains dry then they are Abnormal and you are safe to refuse to serve them.

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Never bet against a Geek

Published on: January 21, 2013
Categories: Friends, Spods
Comments: No Comments

I have been sorting out the To-Sort folders on my machines, it’s a job you can tell is long overdue by the recursive To-Sort folders that have moved from long dead machines to the To-Sort folders of newer machines. In one of these long distant folders I found a photograph, which reminded me of a story. A story I am going to share with you dear Constant Reader because it teaches an important message. “Never bet against Geeks” because they are resourceful and think outside the box.

It was December 2002, University’s had broken up for the Christmas  break and there was a group of us out celebrating seeing each other again after the long semester.

An Important fact to remember is that in 2002 mobile phones were not as common as they are now. Very few people had them, and even less carried them about due to their large size. Oh, and a phone with a camera, that was pure science fiction.

So there we were, several pubs along our way through a pub crawl when someone mentioned that it would be great if we had a photo to remember the night. But who takes a camera out with them on a pub crawl?

We had no chance right?

Well that’s what the majority of the group decided, and I say majority because there was two of us who decided there must be a way, nothing is impossible right?

So, we were out in the middle of the local town, slightly drunk, with no camera and the need to get a photograph. We had no chance, right? The rest of our group were so positive they even made a small wager. A wager of several drinks was involved. This was their big mistake.

You do not give a geek a puzzle. If you do, you do not tell the geeks its impossible. And if you really do that, you really do not add a wager of beer!!

We had no chance right?

Correct, we did not have “No Chance” we had “Every Chance” for we were geeks. I recalled there was a webcam setup in the window of the local council offices, so if we stood in the area it pointed at we would be in a picture. We just needed someone to go to the webpage and grab a screen shot of the image. This is where my fellow Geek, popped into a phone box, phoned his Uni digs, where he knew one of his room mates would be about to do the necessary.

So we organised a signal, and went to go stand in front of the webcam, While 100 miles away someone sat at their computer and waited for the signal, then did a screen capture, and emailed us the image.

Challenge completed, a photo of the evening was procured. and many free drinks were had.

So, dear Constant Reader never bet against a geek, for as the bible says “The Geek will inherent the earth

Wayne - Rael - Wrexham Web Cam (14  DEC 2002)

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Assassins Creed Brotherhood – Attack of the Glitch

Published on: September 29, 2011
Categories: Friends, Gaming, xbox 360
Comments: No Comments

As mentioned in This Post We finally got Assassins Creed Brotherhood (Or ACB as it will be known for the rest of this post) working fine for us to play together, and we have had a few good games. Now there has always been the odd glitch, people doing the lag jump, or cries of “How did you get me, you were no where near?” And other slight but manageable glitches.

Only recently these glitches have got worse. Especially as we have noticed with PlanetPete. We think it affects him more because he has the Da Vinci DLC so has more characters, so when he plays his machine is kicking out more character types?

These glitches were expectationally bad the last time we played. And I really hope they get these issues fixed for the final release in the Assassins Creed series. Let me give you a few examples.

You would see PlanetPete running and lock on with your hidden gun, you would get a clear shot locked directly onto his back, fire, and nothing.

You would be unable to lock on to press X (Kill) or B (stun)

If you did lock on, you would still be unable most the time to attack. At two points there was two of us trying to kill him while he was blinded by firecrackers and not moving, and neither of us could touch him.

The list of things like that is endless, to the point we wondered if he had some cheat on. Thats when we realised what he was seeing on his screen was different to us. So where we were all seeing his character, was no longer where he was standing, hence we could not kill him.

I love the AC games, but they really need to sort out their multiplayer for the next one. And not having to wait fifteen minutes to find/start a game would also be nice.

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Assassins Creed Brotherhood Connection Madness

Published on: August 3, 2011
Categories: Friends, Gaming, xbox 360
Comments: 3 Comments

I have been enjoying the game Assassins Creed Brotherhood, Especially the online Multiplayer (You may recall Assassins Creed Brotherhood AKA You can’t Run but You can Hide!). It makes a great change from FPS games like COD. SO PlanetPete and myself convinced some other members of the COD group we play with to also get the game.

In theory this gave us an increased group to play ACB with. In truth its failed miserably. Me & PlanetPete can join a group and play together no problem, and CampyPhil & MIAdave can play together no problem. BUT if anyone tries to join the other group they get “the session is unreachable” So neither PlanetPete or Myself can play against the other two, and neither of them can play against us.

Now our original thought was that maybe it was an odd routing issue, with them being in a different part of the UK to us, Well luckily PlanetPete went to visit them and took his hard-drive with him. And with his hard drive plugged into MIADaves’s xbox he was able to join me, yet with MIADave’s hard drive plugged in “session is unreachable

It makes no SENSE!!!!

Has anyone else had this issue? Do you know a solution?


Update, PlanetPete purchased the DaVinci DLC. And now we are unable to play together, even with his DLC turned off. Come on UbiSoft you have somehow broken an important part of the game. Online Multiplayer. This was the first Assassins Creed with multiplayer, and you seem to have done something to prevent friends playing against each other. We have a group of people, some who only bought the game to play together who are unable to actually play together. FIX IT NOW!


Happy 6th Birthday Three NInjas

Published on: May 19, 2011
Categories: Blog, Friends, LiveJournal
Comments: 2 Comments

Well technically The Three Ninjas in its current format celebrated its second birthday on 12th January, but the Livejournal which started it all off, and who’s posts were exported onto here is six years old today.

Sit tight dear reader while I give you the brief history of how we came about, and why were are celebrating today!

19th May 2005:

A couple of us in the office created LiveJournal accounts so we could keep up with what our friends were doing, and so we could post random gibbering’s online during the slower parts of the day to try and keep us sane. My account was under the name penddraig, and the first ever post I made can be found here entitled “First Entry

Our posts covered mostly the insanity of work, random thoughts & meme’s, and what we had been up too. Including a few funny themed posts like the “ICE phone scam“. Our little community grew with some constant interactions and comments from the same group of people.

8th January 2009:

With the sell off of LiveJournal to a Russian businessman, and the reported rumours it was closing down  reported here in “Livejournal” (Plus the niggling voice telling me as an IT person I should have my own hosted blog) I decided to start my own self-hosted Blog using WordPress as the core system. I therefore set up wordpress, imported all my old LiveJournal posts into the new Blog and was up running.

12th January 2009:

Before I’d even finished setting up my blog, a friend from the old LiveJournal days expressed an interest in moving away as well. After a beer fuelled discussion, we decided to have a group or community blog. So After much discussion we settled on a domain name, and the Three Ninjas blog became a reality.

So without that original set of LJ posts, this blog would never have been here. So please take a minute to wish us (and GothNinja in particular) a Happy Blog Birthday.

Happy Birthday to us!

The Cake is not always a lie!


I’m not going to lie to you fellas, I’ve been drinking.

Published on: February 22, 2011
Categories: Friends
Comments: 2 Comments

The other night a group of us were discussing where and when we first started drinking, who was involved, and trading stories. Its amazing how the practically harmless under-age drinking that happened when we were young, has been replaced with the more serious situation it is today. I wonder if the youth of today got to drink responsibly at a young age, we would have less binge drinking cases as they get older? “Sorry, off on a tangent there! Normal service will now resume“.

During the conversation I was reminded of the first time I was kicked out of a drinking establishment. I’ve not done bad really, just Three times in total. Once for under-age drinking, once for making a mess in an almost derelict pub, and one other. I thought I would share the story with you dear reader, so sit back, grab a pint and begin.

I was about fifteen years old (possibly sixteen, but I think it was fifteen) and I had been taken to the Wheelwrights Arms in Pen-y-Cae by my sisters boyfriend & friends (It was handy having a much older sister). Now in those days as long as you sat quietly out the way, and made no trouble you tended to get away with drinking as long as no one pointed it out. Unfortunately this day one of the people I was with had recently annoyed the Barmaid (which is never a good idea people, for they supply the holy nectar of booze). So there I was minding my own business when she came over to our group, and informed me I had to finish my drink and leave as I was under-age. Now this was not a problem since I had prepared for this eventuality by calculating a date of birth that made me eighteen (Legal age then).

Me:What you mean? I’m eighteen!

Barmaid:No your not! what’s your birthdate?

Me: *gave valid birthdate*

Barmaid:HA! your wrong, that makes you seventeen. You said your birthday was November, its only March so your not eighteen yet! try better next time

Me: *sigh*I know my birthdays not til November, at which time I will be nineteen.

I then made her count up from the year I had given till she got to the current year to prove I was eighteen as i claimed.

Barmaid: Oh. Sorry, I was sure that was a made up date of birth

She then walked away. Now all would have been well if she had made it to the bar and got distracted by peoples orders. Only she never made it that far.

Barmaid: *one step* *two steps* *three steps* *pause* *turns angrily*OI! your fifteen! get out of here now.

Me:Come on we’ve already done this

Barmaid:Wayne! Your my brothers best friend, your in his class in school, Hell you were at my house watching films with him last night, tell me your eighteen” *there then followed a stream of very interesting language*

And that’s how I first got kicked out of a drinking establishment, and learnt the important lesson that if you wish to drink while under the legal age then pick a pub where the staff do not know you.


Assassins Creed Brotherhood AKA You can’t Run but You can Hide!

Published on: February 1, 2011
Categories: Friends, Games, xbox 360
Comments: 4 Comments

Last night I was sitting with my feet up watching an episode of Babylon 5 as part of #TheGreatBab5Watch, following on from #TheGreatTNGReWatch (These are matters for a different post). Anyway, there I was just finishing the episode that was on, and considering if I should start the next episode or make a trip to the fridge for a cold beer when *ding ding* My mobile goes off with a message from PlanetPete “Internet playing up still? I’m on acb“. Well that made my decision for me, I’d not played on online for a while, and had only had one game of Assassins Creed Brotherhood online, so it seemed a great Idea.

It was suggested since I was unfamiliar with the game that we would play a couple of rounds in a private match, before playing on open games online with groups of people. I must say the private matches first was needed to get into the needed mindset. Now we were playing Hunted(I think the game types called) *EDIT: “I Have been reminded the name was ‘Manhunt’” Basically ‘Hide & Seek’ with a death thrown in at the end. There are two groups, One are assassins with the job of finding and killing the other group, who are trying their best to hide. You then switch half way through.

acb-characters (more…)


From the Archive: Last Ever Rock Night at The Tiv Pt:1

Published on: November 11, 2010
Categories: Friends, Wales
Comments: No Comments

Recently it was National Nostalgia Week, and to keep the nostalgia going here’s a photo review of an event that marked the end of an era in North Wales, the closing of the Tiv as a rock venue and leaving north east Wales with no rock clubs at all.

The Last Ever Rock Night at The Tiv!!!!
[Saturday 29th May 1999]


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National Nostalgia Week

Published on: October 22, 2010
Categories: Family, Friends, LiveJournal
Tags: No Tags
Comments: 3 Comments
Is it “National Nostalgia Week” or something?
Is there such an event?
If so, Why was I not informed?
If there is, how would the organisers control peoples memories?
If you have bad remembrances can you get a refund?

These and other pointless questions will not be answered in this post. It does make you think though, if today is INTERNATIONAL CAPSLOCK DAY, and people celebrate the annoying use of shoutyness in correspondence, is “National Nostalgia Week” such a insane suggestion? But I digress, I know its an uncommon thing for me to go slightly off-topic but that’s what I seem to have done here.

The concept of “National Nostalgia Week” has come about because this week seems to be a collection of things reminding me of days gone by, basically a string of nostalgic memories for bygone days. Let me share a few here for you dear reader.



Formspring: Best Question Ever!

Published on: August 3, 2010
Categories: FormSpring, Friends
Comments: 2 Comments

I was recently asked on Formspring a question that I thought was the best question I have ever been asked. I was so impressed with the random question I thought I would share it with you.

If an unstoppable force comes to an immovable object, what is the result?

WOW! Quick I need @dontrythis, 5lbs of C4, & a ton of Thermite STAT!. We’re going to do SCIENCE!!!!

Well to have an immovable object, you have to accept that no force in the Verse can move it. No nukes, no exploding suns, no black holes, no BIG BANGS, nothing. This would imply that the object exists in a slightly different phase/vibration/dimension to the physical world that we live in.

The unstoppable force would then pass directly through the immovable object without interacting with it, since they must by definition exists in different planes. so my answer is… They pass without interacting with each other.

Best Question Ever!


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