Author: GothNinja

When God created Wales

Jul31
Published on: July 31, 2014
Categories: Comedy
Tags: ,
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In the beginning the Lord God Almighty turned to the Archangel
Gabriel, and said:

“Today I am going to create a beautiful part of the Earth and I will
call it Wales. I will make a country of breathtaking blue lakes, rich
green forests and dark beautiful mountains from which from time to
time will be snow-covered. I will give it clear, swift rivers that will
overflow with salmon and trout.

The land shall be lush and fertile on which the people can raise cattle
and grow their food, as well as being rich with precious metals and
stones that will be sought after, the World over.

Underneath the land I shall lay rich seams of coal for the inhabitants to
mine. Around the coast I will make some of the most beautiful areas in
the World. White sandy beaches and cliffs that will attract all manner
of wildlife, and lots of islands that will be paradise to all who visit
them. In the waters around the shores there will be abundance of sea-life.

The people who will live there will be called the Welsh, and they will
be the friendliest people on my Earth. They will have magic in their
blood, and songs in their souls. Their Voices when raised in song shall
challenge the choir of angels.”

“Excuse me, sire” interrupted the Archangel Gabriel, “don’t you think
that you are being a bit generous to these Welsh?”

The lord just smiled and replied “You have not seen the neighbours
I’m giving them!”


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Sometimes I am a Dick

Jul24
Published on: July 24, 2014
Categories: Office, Work
Comments: No Comments
 

*Phone rungs*

Me:Good afternoon, Insane Asylum!

Caller:Hi. can I speak to Joan Crawshore please.

Me:Who? Sorry no one of that name here.”

Caller:Sorry it’s who I have down as a contact there, well who can I talk to about changing your power supplier.”

Me:Humm. that would be a Dave Jones”

Caller:Can I speak to them please?

Me:Sorry, He’s on holiday atm. He’ll be back in 2 weeks.

Caller:Thanks, I’ll call back then.

 

Two weeks later :-

 

*Phone rungs*

Me: “Good afternoon, Insane Asylum!

Caller: “Hi. can I speak to Dave Jones please.

Me: “Who? Sorry no one of that name here.”

Caller: “Sorry it’s who I have down as a contact there, well who can I talk to about changing your power supplier.”

Me: “Humm. that would be a Thomas Evens”

Caller: “Can I speak to them please?

Me: “Sorry, He’s on holiday atm. He’ll be back in 2 weeks.

Caller: “Thanks, I’ll call back then.

 

Two weeks later :-

 

*Phone rungs*

Me: “Good afternoon, Insane Asylum!

Caller: “Hi. can I speak to Thomas Evenss please.

Me: “Who? Sorry no one of that name here.”

Caller: “Sorry it’s who I have down as a contact there, well who can I talk to about changing your power supplier.”

Me: “Humm. that would be a Susan Jenkins”

Caller: “Can I speak to them please?

Me: “Sorry, She’s on holiday atm. She’ll be back in 2 weeks.

Caller: “Thanks, I’ll call back then.

 

This may have been going on for several months now….

I’m slowly running out of made up names.

 


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Freebies

Jul17
Published on: July 17, 2014
Categories: Blog, My Books, Writing
Comments: No Comments
 

Dear Constant Reader.

I have not given away any free stuff for a while, so I think it is about time I rectified that mistake :-

 

Book - Night WatchSo go HERE and grab a copy and do not forget to Use the code

NA39N

at checkout to get this book for FREE

(Offer good until August 16th, 2014)

 

 

 

Book - Burglar & The BeastSo go HERE and grab a copy and do not forget to Use the code

RG78G

at checkout to get this book for FREE

(Offer good until August 16th, 2014)

 

 

 

Book - Pendragons Poetry & ProseSo go HERE and grab a copy and do not forget to Use the code

AK26V

at checkout to get this book for FREE

(Offer good until August 16th, 2014)


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Katawa Shoujo – UPDATE

Jul16
Published on: July 16, 2014
Categories: Dating, Games, YouTube
Comments: No Comments
 

You may recall a previous post where I was playing “Katawa Shoujo” after watching along with  Metadating, which was one of the original Geek & Sundry shows.

If you don’t remember it, or did not read it, or maybe suffer from long term memory issues due to a alleged incident with a baseball bat (Sorry Dave) then you can remind yourself about it by re-reading the original Katawa Shoujo post

TL;DR

Basically it’s a visual novel style game where your choices and options dictate which of five girls you end up with. And where the game taught me that sometimes the best match for you is not necessarily the first person to catch your eye?

 

katawa-shoujo-characters

The available options.

 

The Replay:

I was still a little bit annoyed about not getting the girl I wanted, So I replayed the game and made different choices with my life to get a different story. And I may have done a little bit of research to make sure I got the outcome I wanted.

It’s not cheating. It’s putting in the effort to get to know the girl?……Oh who am I trying to kid, I cheated at the beginning to make sure Act 2 was on the path I wanted.

Anyway, Play-through #2 got me the Girl I wanted based off first impressions instead of personalities (Take that Game mechanics).

And I am man enough to admit…

Gods the Girl I picked from first impressions was an annoying, annoying thing. By half way through Act #2 I did not just realise how much a mistake this was, but I actually hated the character. I longed for the parts of the narrative she was not in. I missed the girl form Play-through #1. Hell I missed any of the characters that were not the girl I picked.

I have to admit I am impressed, It is really looking like this simple free game knows which type of woman I am better suited to than I do myself.

It is an eye-opener.

Also it’s possible that I have really bad taste in women!

 

You can download the game Legally & For free from :- http://www.katawa-shoujo.com/download.php


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Katawa Shoujo

Jul11
Published on: July 11, 2014
Categories: Dating, Games, YouTube
Comments: No Comments
 

I have been slowly trying to catch up on a backlog of Films, TV Programs & YouTube shows. To demonstrate just how bad the backlog is. I’m currently catching up on Metadating, which was one of the shows on the 1st year of Geek & Sundry back in 2012?. (I know right.) So Metadating did a 2 part show on “Katawa Shoujo

Katawa Shoujo is a bishōjo-style visual novel by Four Leaf Studios that tells a story of a young man and five young women living with varying disabilities. The game uses a traditional text and sprite-based visual novel model with an ADV-style text box running on the Ren’Py visual novel engine. The game is licensed under the Creative Commons CC-BY-NC-ND.

They had split it into two 2 hour episodes so that they could show the game and discuss it while playing part of the 1st act, then give everyone a chance to play the game themselves (Its a Free Cross-Platform Game) and then they could play some more and discuss it in the second episode. I started playing while watching the second episode, where I discovered if you really messed up your choices YOU CAN DIE!

Luckily, unlike one of Metadating’s Presenters I survived without dying.

Katawa Shoujo

So the game starts with a quick back-story to explain what is going on and why you are now in a new special school. After this you are introduced to your new school and get to meet each of the main girls. You have to meet them all to make an informed choice right?

katawa-shoujo-characters

The available options.

The Game/Story then progresses with you learning about the school, the people, etc.. Every so often you are given options, and what you pick influences the story, like those old “Make your own Adventure” books.

The Game is in 4 Acts.

  • Act 1: Meet the Girls and get interested in one (If you fail you die)
  • Act 2: Get to know your Chosen Girl and move from friendship onto Romance
  • Act 3: Troubles and if you do not do well, A BAD ENDING
  • Act 4: If you get to Act 4 you get a Good Ending.
  • Also you can die at any time you totally mess up.

Playing Act 1,

I had picked out the girl I wanted and was playing to get her. She was a shy little thing, and at one point I thought I had won. She had stayed behind after class because I was finishing up some homework (I did mention it was set in a school). Her best friend came looking for her, and after a whispered conversation left leaving the girl in the class. She kept looking at me, and seemed to be waiting for me to notice her and talk to her.

Real Life me went “YES. I got the path I wanted, come on notice what’s going on”

Character me did his homework, nodded at the girl and left!

This annoyed me as being male I generally need to be hit with a baseball bat with the words “I like you” written on it to notice these things, and yet character me was more oblivious than real life me. I calmed myself down with a beer, and in spite I refused to share with character me.

It turns out, that making the choices I had, which in turn influenced the personality of the Character I was playing made me better suited for the personality of a different girl, rather the the one I had picked after quick first impressions. And the game had realised this. Who knew that the best match for you is not necessarily the first person to catch your eye?

This was too deep for both real life me and character me, and we had another beer.

Without any Spoilers. Act 2 went along fine, and I started thinking “Humm, OK my character could get along with this girl”. Act 3 was a bit touch and go, and I strongly suspect I almost ended up heading towards the BAD ending where we split up. But my overall brilliance let me slip into Act 4 and the Happy Ending…

Overall the story was interesting, and I have since seen the flowchart of the various ways the story can change based on your choices and am even more impressed with the writing. I am tempted to play the game again, with different answers to see just how much the path/story changes based on a single moments decision. (It’s the Multiverse people!)

You can download the game Legally & For free from :- http://www.katawa-shoujo.com/download.php


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Happy We let you off the Reins to Join the Big Kids Day

Jul04
Published on: July 4, 2014
Categories: Holiday, Politics
Comments: No Comments
 

toddler-reinsFour score and seven years ago, or in 1776 We decided that the young country of America had become old enough to trust not to run out in front of traffic, or try and play with dangerous animals and as such we took the reins off.

There comes a time in every parents life when you have to trust that your early guidance and teachings have given your offspring all the help they need to make their way in the world alone.

So the UK took off the training reins and watched as America took its first hesitant steps on it’s own. Yes there was a few stumbles and mishaps along the way. Several times America slipped and cut its hand or knee and UK wanted to pick it up and hold it safe.

“Maybe we should leave the reins on for a bit longer.”

UK.

But like all good parents we stayed back, Watching carefully and holding back our urges to guide and jump in at every hurdle. You have to trust your children will do the right thing.

I will say, America you grew up ok. Ok. you have made some really poor dating choices, and Looking at your teenage photographs “What were you wearing??” But all in all, you did well.

SO we here in the UK in general, and the Three Ninjas Temple in particular would like to wish you a Happy Anniversary of your First Steps without the Reins!!

Happy Independence Day.

 


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“If We Won”

Jul03
Published on: July 3, 2014
Categories: Holiday
Comments: No Comments
 

 


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Merry Midsummer

Jun21
Published on: June 21, 2014
Categories: Holiday, Pagan, Spiritual
Tags: ,
Comments: No Comments
 

Just Wishing one and All A Happy *INSERT NAME OF CHOICE HERE* Day.

Summer Solstice @ Stonehenge

Summer Solstice @ Stonehenge

Remember on this day:-

In the words of Wil Wheaton, “Don’t be a dick.”
In the words of nerdfighters, “Don’t forget to be awesome.”


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Full Moon Powered Friday 13th

Jun13
Published on: June 13, 2014
Categories: Mythology, Trivia, Weird
Comments: No Comments
 

Today is Friday 13Th.

Don’t Panic.

It is just a stupid superstition right? In this modern technological world we have no need for ancient superstitions right? Or in this impersonal online world are we more in need of reminders of things beyond our comprehension?

And just how bad is Friday the 13th anyway? Fridays are good, they herald in the weekend, and we all like the weekend don’t we?

OK, SO it is supposed to be unlucky, So it is the day when Murphy’s Law is in full swing, and if anything bad can happen, it will happen in triplicate! So what if people stay off the roads, and refuse to fly and other such things. It’s only superstition.

isn’t it?

DON’T PANIC!!

BUT wait! Tonight there is a Full Moon! You know a full moon, The time of Werewolves, and Witches Covens, of Lunatics, and increased madness!

So to recap.

  1. The Unluckiest day of the year
  2. The Day of the month most likely to cause Insanity, Shape-shifting, & evil magic.
  3. AT THE SAME TIME

FRAK IT, PANIC!!!

friday13th


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70 Years on – Least We Forget

Jun05
Published on: June 5, 2014
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags:
Comments: No Comments
 

d_day_70th_anniversary_stickers-ref98e519c6d64150877358d61d5a0cad_v9i40_8byvr_324

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

John McCrae (1872 – 1918)

 


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