I now wish to retract my earlier admiration for these evil power mad people, who have nothing better to do than stand about causing problems for poor commuters.
Let me explain why I have had a reversal of opinion.
This morning on my daily commute I came across some “Gully Cleaning” in progress midway down a LONG straight road. There was a StopGo man standing by the works van with his little sign which was showing STOP in my direction.
Now I was the ONLY vehicle on the road, long straight road, with Just me driving towards the StopGo Man who is signaling with his sign I have to stop to let the none existent Cars from the other direction come through first.
Now Since I’m still a bit away I figure he will swap the sign as I get closer. NOPE. It still says STOP, as I slow down as I get closer and closer to him. Until I reach him and have to come to a complete stop since the sign is still saying STOP.
He looked at me, checked the NONE EXISTENT oncoming traffic, checked me, checked again and changed his sign to GO.
WHY god darn it WHY???
I was the only car on the road, he could easily have checked and changed the sign to save me having to stop. I figure the evil jumped up person wanted to abuse the small power he has in his life. After all his entire role in life to so stand and hold a stick. There are not many jobs where you could be replaced by a pile of dirt and still have the same competence of work.
Wow. Today is once again Friday 13th!!! Yes this is the third Friday the 13th we have had this year so far.
And its not any old year. No it is 2012 The end of days. And with three Friday the 13th so far I believe this may in fact be the end of days. The Zombies will rise, The undead will spew forth from forgotten graves, and the dead shall inherit the earth!!!
So let me wish you luck. And if we all survive I’ll see you next week!!!!!
So if you survive the day, why not show it proud with a “I survived” T-shirt, or keychain/sticker.
I really wish this had been a conversation I had, but alas it was a conversation between a colleague (YoYoMan) and a cold caller.
Cold Caller (cc): “So sir we are conducting a survey on how your home is supplied, may I ask where you get your electricity?”
YoYoMan (YYM): “Yep we have a nuclear fission reactor under the house, this supplies us with our electricity.“
CC: “oh, is this provided by a company?“
YYM: “nope I built it myself.“
CC: “ok how is your house heated? And who is your supplier?“
YYM: “well the house is heated by the cooling system for my reactor, it’s a bit of a pain in summer mind“
CC: “ok, so if I was to offer you a price comparison and was able to find you a cheaper supplier would you be interested?“
YYM:“firstly no, as I built the reactor myself and it’s free electricity and heating, but do you have any information on companies that deal with air conditioning, and possibly someone to help deal with the reactive waste?“
CC: “what do you mean sir?“
YYM: “well I’m looking for someone who could take my spent fuel rod when the time comes, I don’t think it would be safe just to bury it in the back garden...”
CC: “one moment sir I will speak to my supervisor“.
(hold music)
CC: “I’m sorry sir my supervisor has advised I end this call. Goodbye“
So My Niece went camping with her Guide Group the weekend.
The woman in charge had been a guide leader for such a long time that she was actually the leader when my sister was in the guides. So she must have been running camping weekends for a stupid amount of years.
The camp started at 7PM on the Friday, by 1PM on the Saturday they had used up all the water supply they brought to last the full weekend, PLUS extra water my sister had dropped off with my niece due to them running out last year.
Yup. 1PM Sat I had a SOS phone call from my niece asking could I come to the camp, collect the water containers and go fill them up for them. The words Piss-up and Brewery spring to mind.
Anyone who is not reading The Bloggess’s Blog really needs to start. Jenny is a wonderful writer, and her insane posts are the highlight of the week. Basically Go read her BLOG!!
No Wait. come back. Let me tell you about her book first, then go read her blog. Because once you start reading you will become a fan. Then as a fan you will want to read her book to find out what made Jenny into TheBloggess.
And believe me, If you read her book without laughing out loud then you are dead inside, or a zombie. Don’t be a dead inside zombie. Read this book.
Read about the time she defended her dead buried dog from furious vultures with a machete. Thats she had the machete because be serious vultures may be big but theres no way they could hold and use a machete???
Just read the book, I could make up all sorts of amazing and wonderful things you will read about in the book, but none would be as wonderful as the true stuff thats in there.
So Go now, read her blog while you wait for your copy of her book to arrive.. go.. run.. run like the zombies are after you, or Chupacabra..
Sherlock V’s Jack the Ripper. In the grittiest, bloodiest Holmes book thats ever been written.
I must admit when I started reading this book I was not expecting the descriptive gruesomeness of the crimes, or the violence. And I will never look at Lestrade in the same way again. Yet somehow this more macabre version of these characters are more realistic than Doyle’s originals. I can see the police of Jack the Rippers day smashing open a few skulls in the investigation and not bothering with the niceties of red tape.
And you feel more for the characters, because of their flaws, and issues. And the ending??? I bet more than a few people have been reduced to tears in the last few pages of the story.
P.S. There is a “Gentleman’s Edition” of this book which I believe has more of the less savory bits edited out. But I would suggest you read the uncut copy, There is nothing that bad in there, and it adds realism to the story
Welcome Dear Constant Reader to the Inaugural* Three Ninjas Award ceremony!**
In this our first set of awards, there is only One Category “Blogger of the Year” This award we will give to the person we vote as being the best blogger out there. Our team of craftsmen spent no expense in creating the physical award.
The nominations for “Blogger of the year are”
Me
Me
Me
And the winner is…………*Drum Roll*………. ME!!!!
GN: “Wow. guys!!!! I did not see this coming, I mean I was honored to be nominated, but never thought in a million years I would win.. Wow.. I’m like speechless……………………………man***“
Me receiving my Award.
* Inaugural means first. M O O N that spells first ****
** Due to an interruption to the Insane Asylums Internet we were forced to find other ways to amuse ourselves.
So its 2012, the end of the world has been prophesied the human saw something strange and had an overwhelming urge to blame the French or some shadowy organisation. But not only is it 2012 AKA “The End of Days” but it is also Friday 13th the unluckiest, evilest day of all time. Now each of these dates is scary on its own, BUT COMBINED??
So if you survive the day, why not show it proud with a “I survived” T-shirt, or keychain/sticker.
Now I’m sure I have Blogged about this customer before, but for the life of me I can not remember what name I gave him (Maybe I should keep track of the names I assign people). Anyway today we shall refer to the Customer/Company/Person as Gillid*
Heres an extract of a Phone conversation that just happened.
Gillid: “Hi, I was told that since TheArchivist* no longer works there you may be able to help me!“
CN: “I may be able to, whats your problem?”
Gillid: “I have a website where I upload loads of data to it every few months, and our CMS that RedBack* made does not work so TheArchivist normally does it for me!“
CN: “No problem. If you email me the data, and let me know what is what in it, I’m sure I can sort it out for you but getting your CMS fixed may be a good idea. Now I’m not sure what you’ve been charged for the data entry in past…….”
Gillid: “Oh TheArchivist did it all for free!“
CN: “Well we won’t be doing that, you’ll have to pay for our time doing it“
Gillid: “OH. can you give me TheArchivist’s personal email address or phone number?“
CN: “No. I’m not giving out peoples personal info!“
Gillid: “ok. I’ll upload it myself!!!!” *Hangs UP*
Thirty minutes after that phone conversation the Support Department get a ticket from Gillid asking for TheArchivists contact details. They guy is seriously trying to get hold of one of our x-employees in the hope that the guy will do work for him for free while no longer being associated to the Asylum?
And after all that If it was just a quick data import into a mySQL DB I’d have probably only charged him £15 or some nominal price.
As normal Names changed to protect me from lawsuits… err I mean to protect the innocent.
