After months and months of constant rain the country is about as water logged as it can be, for a while now it has only taken a couple of hours light rain to cause flooding all over the place. So with the ground already to capacity, there has been a kind of Nationwide concern over what would happen when the several feet of snow finally melted.
In fact, the Nationwide worry was so “worrying” that the Government environmental agency issued advice on how to prepare and even help prevent flooding. That amazing, scientific, flood defence advice was………….
…………..Wait for it……………
To build Snowmen!
Yes, the cunning plan was that if everyone went out and built a snowman then flooding would be prevented. The logic being, Snowmen take longer to melt than normal snow, so by converting a lot of normal snow into Snowmen, the melting is staggered and flooding prevented.
Now my first thought on hearing this advice, was the same one you are probably having right now. That somehow ”The Great Intelligence Institute” had infiltrated the environmental agency, and was planing on taking over the Earth with its army of Snowmen. (I’d seen something similar on a Documentary screened Christmas time)
I did try to investigate this further by checking with the person who answers to the name “The Doctor”, which was not as easy as it sounds. Knowing that with an army of Snowmen were being built, he would be around somewhere I kept an eye out for an old blue police box. I did not find the Police Box because he had the chameleon circuit working an the Box was now in the guise of a old Red Telephone Box. Unfortunately the Doctors recent regeneration seems to have caused problems with the language centre of his brain. The conversation went something like this :-
GN: “Doc, Can I call you Doc?“
Doc: “What? Can I help you?“
GN: “I think the Great Intelligence is trying to take over the earth again with an army of Snowmen“
Doc: “What? what are you going on about? Who are you?“
GN: “The government’s plan to build an army of snowmen“
Doc: *picks up the phone* “Police. I need help“
I decided then that my work was done, The Doctor was obviously contacting the Police/UNIT in an attempt to help. And help he did.
We had a weekend of rain, all the snow melted but there was no flooding this morning, and suspiciously no Snowmen. I can only assume the Doctor did what he did and fixed it all as we slept… So I’d like to say.